I am a 47 year old married man that has and continues to have strong sexual fantasies about his mother. I have had these sexual urges for 35 years. I have never acted on them but habitully masturbates to them daily. I see my mom as a sex object that i want to use in every concievable way. My father left us when i was 5 and the first objects of sexual stimulation i found were in my mothers bedroom. Her sex toys and magazines. She used hustler swank and stag to get off and so did I. I found her dirty panties very stimulating. I was the oldest of three children and mom married young and needed to do some things to make ends meet so I was in charge of my younger siblings and the house. Over the years various men were in the house. My mother actually married five times. The first naked woman i seen was my mother. The first woman i saw sucking cock was my mom. The first woman i seen beening fucked was my mom. The woman i seen having her ass fucked was my mom. I hide in closets and snuck around when she had guys over and took every opportunity peek on her while she had sex. This was very stimulating and found masturbation as my relief. Over the years i wanted to rape her and do all the things that i have saw her do with my cock. I just never had the nerve to carry it through. I was so close one night when she passed out on the couch. I was 14 and extremely excited she was on the couch in just a long tee shirt and he hairy pussy was fully exposed. i pulled my shorts of and crawled up and could actually smell her pussy. I wanted to shove my cock in it so bad. But i lost my nerve when i heard my siblings up and had to run down stairs and masturbate. The summer i was 15 i went with my siblings to spend the summer with my dad. When we returned from that summer mom had remarried a guy (who i saw fuck her twice once in the ass) and we had moved in to his house and i was stuck in his basement sharing a room with my little brother and the guys older son. It was hell. An then i found the 10 polaroid picutes of my mom being used as the guys sex slave tied and exposed and enjoying it all. I could not take it anymore and had to leave. I wanted her for my mommy whore and she would do it for everyone else. I left two weeks later and moved to my dads. The problem was the mom fanties have never ceased. I learn to cope with them with masturbation but they never go away and still to this day give me my biggest orgasms. A year ago my mom was sick and i thought she my pass. So I thought i was doing the right thing by telling her the truth and explain why I have been such a distant son. I know when im around her the urges and desires increase and the truth is that i want to make her my whore. She took it well at the time but since then it has been difficult to talk to her. Knowing that she knows what is in my head. I still keep my distance, so does she. She lives multiple states away so the contact is very limited. But the urges and desires never go away. This is a true confession and i would like to talk to moms that have had similar experiences. There may not be any i may be the only one like this but if there are others i would like to talk with them. I trying to gain the other perspective.