Title basically says it all. I was going through a really rough time & was ready to end it all. Been through depression most of my life but at that point I had been preparing for weeks to end it all. I had my fathers gun in my closet with bullets I had stolen from his apt. I hate guns and I mulled it over for weeks on how I was going to be able to pull the trigger when that moment came. I had to scratch that plan all together I wasn't confident I would follow through. Instead I read a lot about carbon dioxide asphyxiation and consider this to be something that would work better. I trapped myself in my bathroom & flooded the room with carbon dioxide. I became light headed and dizzy, and felt very faint. I threw up at one point and collapsed on the ground. By that time I was breathing strangely and eventually passed out altogether. I don't remember anything from that point on. I was completely ready to leave everything behind....I didn't want anything any more. When I awoke I had been dragged outside by the fire dept and they had been giving me CPR. The details are really fuzzy from here. Apparently my girlfriend had drove over to my house to see if I wanted to go out for some lunch. Hadn't seen her in weeks so it was really odd for her to drop by. She became concerned when I didn't answer, saw that the bathroom had been completed blacked out from the inside and everything was locked. She also smelled the gas heavily from the bathroom. At the time she didn't understand what was going on but just thought that it was an emergency with the smell of gas so she called 911. The level of carbon dioxide was so high in my blood stream that the doctors in the ER were convinced that only a few more minutes and I would have been completely brain dead. I was in the hospital for 3 days to recover from the incident and then released over to a local psych facility and kept there for two 1/2 weeks until I was released. I did a lot of thinking, received a lot of much needed therapy and support. When I got out I continued with therapy and medication. Family and friends were a great support and it was helpful because during that dark time I felt very alone. Unexpectedly I received communication from my now husband. We had only dated once or twice before & then he went off into the army. He got back in touch with me when he got back into town. He asked me out & I accepted. From that moment we were never apart. I never had the courage to explain to him what had happened to me & what I had done. It was such a horrible time in my life and the darkest moment that I couldn't bare to speak about it. I was recovering and moving in a healthier direction. Trying to live life again in a positive aspect. We've been married for 5yrs now & I have never ever told him about it. I even hid my medication from him for almost 2 full years until I tapered off of it safely as advised by doctors. I still see doctors from time to time but its mostly for anxiety and occasionally I explain that I had a rough bout with depression & the incident and that I never want to go back into something that dark and overwhelming again. But to this day he has no clue. I don't think I could ever bring myself to tell him.