When I was young I wasn't raised by my biological parents, they were too busy to deal with me and they had a lot on hand with my 6 older siblings. So instead my father's half-sibling raised me with his wife from when I was an infant until I was 4, at the age of 4 in a accident while my "mother" was walking me home from school my mother died. As a result I've suffered from a case of PTSD, which from what I've been told by many "professionals" is pretty normal. This is where things begin to turn, as I've grown older I've had many things to come to terms with; the horrific nightmares that prevent me from sleeping, a side effect of PTSD, and the most recent has been the emergence of my bisexuality. Simply put a pretty boy is the same thing to me as a pretty girl, my father wasn't so comfortable with the idea but he's warmed up to it as I've grown older. Like any young person I've gone through all sorts of relationships and as a bisexual man, I've found lots of ways to get involved. There has been a trend in the people I've chosen though, this trend was made apparent to me by my FATHER of all people and that is this. Most of the people who I've spent time with are usually older than me by no less than 3 years, are of a friendly and cheery demeanor, and most telling of all have a bright shade of red hair or green eyes. The reason the last bit is so telling is that my "mother" fills all of those descriptive points as well. Everyone I've ever had a relationship with or at the very least have sex with share a characteristic of my mother, my father has shown me many pictures of her when she was younger. The most serious relationship I've had to date was with a woman named Claire who was 7 years older than me with long red hair and bright shiny green eyes; it wasn't long after I introduced her to my father that he decided to voice his thoughts "You know she looks just like your mother did when we were young". With that throwaway comment something began to sink into my mind, I've never really known my mother. I only knew her for 4 years but they were also some of the most crucial years of my life, and EVERYONE I've slept with or had a relationship with in some way resembled my mother. I broke up with Claire after a particularly forceful sex session I called her mam as I came inside her. So I ask, is it possible that I'm just hunting for my mother in my lovers? Or is this just something I'm thinking too much on and making it a much bigger problem than it is?