Lust! I am guilty! I am guilty! I am so many times guilty! So horribly, horribly guilty! So terribly, terribly guilty! And ever so filthy am I by my own hand and by my own heart and by my own mind! Forgive me, please, and take this from me - I am no better than the filthy rags! And, I confess to these things openly - I have been faithless to you! I give myself to others when I am betrothed to you! How many times have I come before you over this? Too many. Then, why do I still fall to it? I know - I have not given you my all. I have not loved you with my heart. I have only intellectualized, only rationalized, only marginalized my love. I loved you with my thoughts and mind, but I have never given you my heart. Every now and then, a ray of your light broke through and I was crushed for not loving you - only then was I filled with the warming touch of the love I never gave but should have. I gave myself over to lust and to faithlessness even when I knew just what I was doing, even when the thought of you was at the front of my mind, I went right on and removed my garments, I let my eyes see evil and it penetrated my soul. Even when my mind was saying, "No," to this thing, I allowed myself to continue and with gladness I broke your heart and turned against you who I love more than anyone or anything, because I have always kept my heart from you. I trusted you with my head, but never with my heart. Then, had I really ever trusted you at all? Perhaps, I never knew you. Indeed, I know I never knew you nor you me, because I never gave myself to you - not in totality, not in wholeness, and if not in totality or in wholeness, how can I say I ever gave myself to you at all? I swear, I will trust you with my heart, open my heart to you, and give my heart to you - just help me to, because, truly, I do love you... but I have been faithless to our covenant. In my faithlessness, I have slowly destroyed myself and cut myself off from you. Thus, I have proven I am not truly yours. Not yet. But soon. I know. I trust you when you say you will make me yours, you will renew a right spirit in me, you will cleanse my mind, and you will give me a new heart... which is good and clean... and faithful. How I do tremble at the thought. I want to know the fulfillment of that promise. Please, forgive me... if but once more, forgive me, and make yours and make me new. I love you. I want to give you my heart. I want to know you... and for you to know me. To: My Precious Love... My Beautiful Savior