Words. The single most powerful thing in the world are words. How we use them, construct sentences with them really excite me. I love words. So how come at 5:30 on a frosty Friday morning can I not find a single word or even chain of words to describe how I'm feeling? I'm going to try though. I feel hurt, empty, scared and alone. I feel like a fool as revelation after revelation hit me ceaslessly like wave after wave on a storm battered beach. Anyway, I must continue with the reason for this post. I'm a little bit of a detective. I enjoy solving little mysteries. Not big ones or the really tough ones. Little ones. Ones that allow me to playfully ask a few questions and filter through the answers at my own pace. That's what I enjoy doing and each his own I guess. I'm not hurting anyone, or am I? I've woken this morning to the realization that not only was I hurting someone but, that someone was.....me! I'm a fool. A fool for not seeing or in reality not choosing to see the obvious. Again, I'll try and keep it on track. It's a hard road to take this morning, because I'm severing all ties with the world. No! Don't worry I'm not about to take a dive. I've passed that now and I'm strong enough to get by on my own. What I mean is I'm severing all ties with this world. Raw. This is MY world! I need to escape it's clutches and I need to do it now. But on the way out of the door and in my rush to leave I know I'm going to hurt a few people. I'm going to stand on a few toes. And maybe crush a heart or two. For that I'm truly sorry. Never was my intention to hurt anyone. Shit, anyone who knows me will tell you I'm as soft as s***. I am too. My own heart is too big, too soft, too forgiving. I've a heart of gold. I know this because a lot of people have told me this. But this heart of gold now has a couple of scorch marks across it. A scarring that will never heal. A choice I made last night as I prayed for guidance has left me feeling both destroyed inside and liberated. Both beaten and wrapped in cotton wool. That choice is loneliness. It's easier for me to be lonely than not as I always have been. I'm going back on the road soon on trips that'll take a week or two at a time. My dream of finally settling down is over. It was a pipe dream anyway and has little importance. Anyway I'd like to say a farewell to all those on here who matter to me. I won't write names because in accidently omitting someones name I could cause offence and I wouldn't want that. Goodbye. Be strong for yourselves and those who love you.