I had an affair with a married man for over 6 years. We started out as friends. I was separated myself and came to the conclusion that divorce was inevitable. After a year, he told me he loved me. It took a long time but I soon after fell for him too. We continued this year after year and now he has separated from his wife, filing for a divorce, and wants to marry me. He was married for 6 years to this woman; the last 4 according both him and his wife (she told me so herself) were bad. She even admitted to me that she knows he doesn’t love her but she wanted to reconcile. I told him numerous times over the years that if his marriage had any chance of working out, I would need to remove myself from his life. He contended that she didn’t love him and he was to the point that he no longer was in love with her which I always took with a grain of salt….its only HIS point of view. So I had planned, that at a time I had decided upon, I would remove myself from the situation so they at least had a shot at making things work. He separated from her 3 months after I made that decision; I still until this day have never told him I intended to end it within the next 6 months. I prompted nor suggested him separating from her; I had enough blood on my hands; I didn’t want to add that to it. He became ill about 6 months later…I told him he needed to reach out to her, let her know what was going on so she can step into her role; I thought to myself that this was God’s way of pulling them back together so I was going to bow out gracefully. When he reached out to her, she told him that he made the choice to separate so she didn’t have to do anything. He could not care for himself, so I did. This is how she found out about me. She reached out to me…wanting to tell her side of the story and did not want me to think she was the “bad guy”; but what she told me was a mismatch from what he told me. So I questioned her in an effort to find out what the truth was, hoping she would pull no punches on the truth and expose any lies I had been told, she didn’t answer me since what she wanted from me is to tell him that he needs to come back to her. She in turn contacted him to ask him why did he tell me sooooooooooooo much about what has happened between them; she never addressed him or myself about them reconciling after this. I felt bad (oddly, this same happened to me under vastly different circumstances and I do have a conscious) …until I began to see firsthand her interactions with him. Somehow, seeing myself that the things he had been saying were indeed true has made me not feel so bad. I don’t feel like I “stole” someone’s husband but I find it difficult to be happy sometimes knowing that my MAY have caused someone else’s pain.