Living with Mental Illness
Posted Sep 13, 2014 by anonymous | 172 views | 2 comments
When I was a young boy, a series of painfully emotional events happened to me. So bad, that I was diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety disorder, and post-traumatic stress. So I had trouble getting along with people, never realizing why. I followed some basic advice like: be confident, be yourself, don't care what others think of you, etc., and for some reason that never worked for me. One day I finally learned why. I'm a guy. I'm not supposed to feel depression, because that would mean I'm just a wussy. I'm not allowed to feel anxiety; I'm supposed to be confident. People made fun of me and teased me everyday. I would like to see them understand the horror I'm suffering everyday. Of course, people who lack self-confidence always come across as "creepy," so that's how people saw me. No one understood how painfully difficult it was for me to just have confidence and "get over it." The past affected me so deeply and apparently I deserve blame for that. It's difficult for me to understand that people would choose to shun and isolate me at a time when I need the most help. Everyday is such a struggle for me, and to say the least, I feel so emotionally exhausted.
Commented Sep 28, 2014 by anonymous
YOU'RE NOT ALONE. I am a 23 male and i can relate. Through my childhood i was teased by many and shunned but i instead took the offensive and turned into the bullies i resented. I never had the opportunity to see someone about it all but i ignore the obvious truth. "Being confident" doesn't work for me too because i simply care too much. Even now i still find it hard to connect with people. I wish i can tell my story but i haven't found a good enough place to put it. I still suffer today from depression and not letting go of my past BUT i say don't let it go. Harness that energy and low feelings to fuel you. Say to yourself so what and that you are still here today. I know some of this sounds cliché but practice makes perfect. You are who you choose to be. If you can understand and believe that no one will be able to control or stop you from doing whatever you want. I hope this helped and made sense.
Commented Sep 13, 2014 by anonymous
I'm a woman and feel the same I've gone through so much traumatizing shit it's made me crazy. Ever since I was born up until I was old enough to drive and get away from it it's like my demons followed me. Just know you're not alone and not a wussy.