I am happy to be on my own for once. I have jumped from failed relationship to failed relationship all of my life never getting to know who the hell I was. Now I have a real opportunity to open my own eyes, take my own advice and love myself for who I have become. There's not a soul in sight that is telling me who I am or who I should become. There is only the voice of my subconscious telling me to be me. All the other voices have been silenced and there is only me. I have been depressed since I was approximately three months old. My mother and father divorced and I was but an infant watching his father be ousted by his mother. My mother then proceeded to find failed relationship after failed relationship until she finally realized she was strong enough to stand on her own two feet. She didn't need a man to make her real, she was real as ever and deserved to pursue happiness to its fullest. I could blame my mother for how I turned out or I can embrace the fact that I learned earlier on then she did that I deserve to be loved and cherished and trusted. I am worth fighting for. I am worth the struggle. I was in love for four years, or so I thought. I kept trying to make us fall apart without wanting it to happen. I tried everything to make her leave me, I was angry, jealous, no self confidence, poor self-image. This is who I thought I had become, it is not. I am stronger, wiser and more confident than many people I know. I was afraid of being truly loved and reciprocating those feelings because I had trust and abandonment issues. She knew this and she left me right as I was reaching for the light, just as I was releasing my heart from its bonds, just as the voices were being silenced, just as I was preparing to become the man I was supposed to be, she slammed the door in my face. I do not blame her though, it was my fault. I did not know myself before entering into a relationship with her. It was not fair to her. I was sad to see her go but I am happy she is finally smiling again. I will be soon enough. I am happy to be on my own for once. It is not as scary as I had perceived it to be. Let it go, move on and learn who you are because without you there is no me.