LIES on top of LIES
Posted Mar 2, 2011 by anonymous | 156 views | 0 comments
Lies on top of lies on top of lies. Most people, starting with you, would say I'm a good person. A loving husband and father. And the truth is, on most counts you'd all be correct. But I've been lying to you about my desires since the beginning. I've been with so many women. Some were friends or co-workers I successfully hit on to the point of screwing around with. Most I paid for. But I've still come home to you each time-- no less in love, and even more of a liar. The only thing different now, of course, is that someone finally caught me. It could be a friend of ours. It could be a disgruntled lover of hers. And forget that I never had sex with her. Either way, they obviously followed me home from the hotel - got our address - and sent you an anonymous letter. You think it's a joke, (albeit an unfunny one). You actually trust me. And of course, that's just another reason for me to love you. But honestly, all I can do in the hopes of making it go away - is to keep on lying - creating and sending another goofy letter just like it to diminish any justifiable suspicion you might have. And then watching our mailbox like a hawk for the unforseeable future just to make sure nothing else arrives. Some shrink would say this was bound to happen... that all I've really wanted was to get caught all along. But in the deep stench of my lying gut... I know that isn't true. I wish I could tell you that I will never do this to you, the kids, or myself, ever again. But even if it's true, I couldn't very well expect you to believe me, could i? So at the end of another fingernail-biting, stomach-churning, sleepless and guilt-ridden day... all I know is this. I deeply, soulfully, love you... and our precious children... even more than I despise and disgust myself.
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