it's not gonna happen
Posted May 15, 2014 by anonymous | 373 views | 1 comments
i've always been a little bit off, i guess? not quite "normal" in the sense that people like to use as an unspoken expectation. it's not a big deal, really. not something i was particularly worried about for the most part. i've always loved my older brother more than i should. we did normal brotherly things for the whole time he lived with my family and i (before he went to college). there was nothing debauched or weird on his side of the relationship. we were never even that close, to be honest? not because i didn't want us to be, but because our personalities are so vastly different. around the time that puberty started happening, i thought some pretty fucked up things about him. he still lived with me at that time, which made it awkward as hell. i never told him, though. it wasn't THAT important. i sometimes took his shirts and got off to the smell of them. i don't think he ever really noticed, and if he did, he didn't say anything about it. i /did/ tell him that i thought i might be gay after he moved out. we had both been raised in a really conservative christian family, so he was pretty much disgusted by me after that. i can't imagine how he would have felt if i had told him what i thought about him. now, i'm dating a great guy that i really care about. i don't think about my brother that way much anymore, even though my boyfriend lives several states over and i can't do anything with him. i love him a lot. i guess i just wanted to tell someone about this, since there's no one i can tell that i know personally.
Commented May 27, 2014 by anonymous
The things might not get happen again.