You know how that typical saying, “You don’t really get over your last love until you find someone new?” That shit is all too true. When my ex-boyfriend broke up with me because I wanted to finish my masters degree, I was obviously upset. Well, I found someone else. I didn’t want to let him into my life. He wanted in my life so bad and I fell for him and I should have known it was too good to be true. I started dating him, and it turned out that he was married. He was FUCKING MARRIED and DIDN’T TELL ME! What kind of shit is that? I freaked out because I thought was he was doing was low. He said he was in the midst of a divorce and it was fine. Me being all starry eyed and “in love,” my stupid ass believed him. I stayed with him. Talked to him every night. He came over. We had sex. I met his children. I met and hung out with his best friends. He told people we were seeing each other and would kiss me and act as if we were married in public. Then one day it all stopped. He didn’t have the balls to call me and tell me what was going on. No… I called him one afternoon after not receiving a fucking phone call in over a week and a half wondering what was going on. I was genuinely worried about him and his wellbeing. He finally answers the phone and says that he has decided to work things out with his wife for his kids. Now I’m no home wrecker, but if he would have just told me when he decided to rekindle things with his wife the day he did it, I probably would have understood. No. I had to hear it from one of his friends that barely even knew me. He just messaged me and asked me if I was ok. I felt like an idiot, and you know what? I probably was. No. I KNOW I was. Now I sit here and think about him all the time and pretend that I am not hurt by what he did to me. I get angry when I think about the whole situation. I get upset when I think about how much he and I did and possibly has not told his wife. How his friends sat and watched us love on each other like it was ok. I want him out of my head and heart. I don’t want love anymore. I am actually very happy being single. I am not alone. I have had better friendships than usual. I am happy, but when I think about him I get upset and feel alone because he was perfect for me. Perfection doesn’t exist, but he was the sailor mouthed, rockstar, loving, sweet man. Now I’m hurt and he could probably care less. He had his cake and ate it too. I refuse to let this get the best of me. I am a strong woman. I just want to have the strength to let him go for good.