Ok so I've read this confession by "Anaveragekid" called "Life sucks". It's a very sad and desperate post which you can read here http://www.rawconfessions.com/confession/show/life-sucks-1373948414 Now, let me confess a similar story. I also used to be bullied at school (elementary). I was a small, fat kid with long hair. Not overweight or obese, but fat. I lived with my uncle who usually made me sleep on his dogs' bed, which is why I used to stink just like them. My body odor was somewhat strong and the kids at school used to call me "Stinky". I had no friends and nobody liked me. My grades were shitty and my mother was a poor fuck who couldn't afford to pay for my food and other things, which is why I wasn't able to live with her. I was fat because I just ate similar food every day. Usually the same. That gets you fat. Don't do that. I was able to eat only when my uncle is done with his meal. He would eat just once a day, and that would be like 8k calories or more. I just ate eggs and fries mostly, so fat kept piling up. Also, I wasn't able to take showers more than once per week, because he wouldn't let me waste so much water on myself. Therefore, my long hair (a little above my shoulders), was really greasy and sticky. So let's summarize: Stinking, dirty and ugly body and hair, fat, shitty grades, low height. That is pretty bad. So it led me to other things, like hating the society and my entire family, because nobody understood me or talked to me about anything. The only person I loved in my family was my grandfather who died when I was 12. My birthday is on the 21st of june, somewhat more than a month after the date of his death. On my 12th birthday, I was cleaning the apartment and doing the dishes (as usual), and I did something wrong, but I didn't know what. My uncle's toolbox was on the table next to me and he was shouting at me, telling me I'm a worthless little shit who doesn't deserve to live, etc. He was about to hit me and raised his hand. A few thoughts about my grandfather and my shitty life (and birthday, as every year) went through my head. Something suddenly clicked in my mind and I took a hammer from the toolbox and raised it high over my head. "Go ahead" I said, "Hit me". Since he was always used to my submissive attitude towards him, he was very surprised when I did that. "Get the fuck out of my home" he said. And so I did. Without a word. I just put the hammer down and left the apartment. I was thinking where I could go and who would actually take me. So I went to my mother's place and explained what happened. She was already planning to take me to live with her for some time, but didn't know when to do it. She started making more money then and was able to pay for my expenses. Not many things changed in my life though. I still felt the same hate and depression like I used to. The only things that I didn't have to do is help her around the house or walk the dogs. I didn't have to do shit, all day long. Sometime later, she sold some of our land in Montenegro with my grandmother. We had a lot of money. Since I was never able to eat what I want, I asked for a shitload of food every day. All the things I never tasted. She bought me various things. A laptop, a PS3, a computer, a new phone, a PSP, lots of clothing, etc. Yet I still wasn't enjoying life. Not one bit. They were still calling me Stinky at school and making fun of me all day. It was maybe even shittier than it used to be. My grades got worse as well. I was an extremely lazy kid. At the end of my elementary school (which is 8th grade in Serbia), I barely passed the year and got into a private art high school. All of the bullying stopped because I wasn't in there anymore and I had a new beginning. Today, things are slightly different. I trained hard at the end of my first year in high school, lost a lot of weight, I cut my hair regularly and shower 5 times per week, I passed this year with straight A's, I have about 4-5 true friends who I love and they love me back. We don't have that much money though, we are actually very poor atm. But I don't give a shit. I came back from a job interview before I decided to make this confession. I'll work and make money. Not because I love my mother, which I don't. But because I need money and I won't give up as I never did. Killing yourself is nowhere near a solution because it can always get better. It's all up to you. Just go through it and let your future give you hope. Better days are coming. I say that to myself every morning. And they will come. Just keep fighting.