Internet Dating
Posted Mar 2, 2011 by anonymous | 123 views | 0 comments
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS: 40ish = 49. Adventurous = Slept with all your mates. Athletic = No t*ts. Average looking = Has a face like an a*se. Beautiful = Pathological liar. Contagious Smile = Does a lot of pills. Educated = Was shagged to bits at University. Emotionally Secure = On medication. Feminist = Fat. Free spirit = Junkie. Friendship first =Former sl*t. Fun = Annoying. Gentle = Dull. Good Listener = Autistic. New-Age = Body hair problems. Old-fashioned = No BJs or an*al. Open-minded = Desperate. Outgoing = Loud and Embarrassing. Passionate = Sloppy drunk. Poet = Depressive. Professional = B*tch. Romantic = Frigid. Social = F*ny like a clowns pocket. Voluptuous = Very Fat. Large lady = Hugely Fat. Wants Soul mate = Stalker. Widow = Murderer. WOMEN'S ENGLISH: 1. Yes = No. 2. No = Yes. 3. Maybe = No.4. We need = I want.5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry. 6. We need to talk = I need to complain. 7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to. 8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later. 9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron! 10. Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead. 11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me. 12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs. 13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. 14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive. 15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. 16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? 17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV. 18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like.
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