I'm nothing
Posted Mar 2, 2011 by anonymous | 129 views | 0 comments
For many years I drank and took drugs. This Sunday will be 13 years clean and sober. Now I want to drink myself to death. Nobody cares about me nor am I loved. Never have been held and told that I'm important to anyone. My mom tells me she does, after I tried to kill myself once. After I got out of the hospital. I told her she never told me. So now she does out of fear I may do something again. I've never wanted to be rich or famous. Just accepted and loved. I see girls holding and kissing their boyfriends or husband. No girl ever did that to me. It hurts when I see them doing that. Everyone always talks about how angry I am. I'm not angry at them. I'm angry at life for giving me a ugly face and body. I posted an ad on yahoo personals 7 months ago. No replys. I emailed girls and was turned down. I am a grown man, 43. Looks like I will go through life alone. Nobody wants a piece of ugly shit like me. I'm gonna blow my fucking brains out some time this year. I'm setting a date. I think even god has just about washed his hands with me. Maybe the bugs will come see me when I'm buried. I want to put a stop to the pain. I'm crying as I type this. I'm so lonley. I'm not a sissy or gay. Just sad and wish I had the balls to do it today.
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