If I had told someone maybe she would still be alive....
Posted Jul 18, 2013 by anonymous | 479 views | 7 comments
My Uncle started molesting me when I was four years old, probably earlier. It would start with little things like a bath where he would touch me, but in the beginning be wouldn't hurt me and I didn't know it was wrong, so I wouldn't tell anyone. I was a little kid, it didn't seem to be wrong at first. Over the years it got worse and worse, but by the time it got violent he pretty much had complete control over me, I thought mt parents would hate me if they found out, and I loved and feared him at the same time. He had complete psychological and physical control, I was his "favorite toy," and nothing more than that. It didn't stop until I was 10 or 11, when I pushed him down and he hit his head on concrete and split it open. He had internal bleeding which put too much pressure on his brain and he ended up dying... so I guess I technically killed him. I know I have had PTSD from it, and most of my childhood experiances with him I have blocked out. Whole days I remember clearly, and then at some point they just cut off- like I can't remember past going into his room, or past him typing me down, it just goes blank. The worst time was when he shared me with two of his friends. I was alone with him for a couple days, I think I was around 7, and two of his friends each brought a girl. They took turns with us in the room, videotaping. I don't remember what happened to me in the room, but I watched the tape of one of the other girls, she was raped, and we all came out of the that room covered in blood. I've only ever told the whole story of that night to one person, my boyfriend, because I am ashamed that I did not do more to help those girls and myself. One of the men, his first name was Daniel, was a cop. She brought his badge and his gun with him that day because he used it to scare us, and to threaten us to not tell anyone. I think that they beat one of the girls to death. She wasn't moving when they brought her out of that room. I know where they buried her, or at least I know where the park is, and where 13 years ago the empty lot would have been. I can't bring myself to go back, or to find out if they really did kill that girl. I can't bring myself to look for Daniel, or the other man, to try to bring some justice to her, and to myself. I know they didn't stop, but I am not 21, this happened when I was 7 years old, and I don't know what I could really do about it. If I had told someone, or asked for help when I was little, maybe that girl would still be alive. It's my fault she is dead, it's my fault my uncle is dead. It is my fault that so many other girls were probably tortured by those two men because I did nothing to try to stop them. Nothing. And I hate myself because of it.
Commented Jul 18, 2013 by anonymous
I might, I don't know if the pictures and the videos are still there. If someone had found them in my family I just assumed that they would have said something to someone about them. That room became pretty much a storage space after he died, and they were under the carpet under a loose floor board in the closet... I think they are there, but I have not checked since I was a little kid. I don't like going to that house. But thank you for sharing your wife's story, and thank you for actually caring about it, and those girls. They haunt me more than anything else because I want to know for sure what happened to both of them. I appreciate this comment, and I will check for the videos and pictures next time I am at my grandmothers house.
Commented Jul 18, 2013 by anonymous
crimes like this never have a statue of limitations. I've seen people go to jail that have committed crimes from 20 years ago. if you have evidence and they never were tried for there crimes they can be arrested and prosecuted. the fact he is n law enforcement is even worse because he has abused his badge. let the evidence of his that is tormenting buddy be the evidwncw that locks him up. I beg you to do this you will feel so much better. my wife was molesyed by her uncle qhen she was 12 and it led to her having to grow up faster. she had a child at the age of 15. had to het a job and drop out of school. she later got jer Ged but she never told anyone and it ate her up every day. when she found out that her uncle was going to marry someone she knew that had a 12 year old girl she finally built up the courage to tell her mom so that the same thing doesnt happen to the daughter of the girl she knows. her mother didnt critize her because her mom went thru the same thing with her own father, but my in laws are a bunch of lazy no good sons a bitches because nothing ever happened. my qife didnt want to press charges because she didnt want to hurt the family. the lady she knew still marriwd the asshole and had a baby girl with him, but know she keeps a close eye on him when he is around her 12 year old (since him and her arent blood related) when he gets drunk he gets to friendly with her. and my wifes mom actually lives her child molesting brother because she is too lazy to get a fucking job and get her own place. even though he molested her daughter she still looks him in the face and talks to him everyday like nothing happened because she is a fucking lazy bitch (sorry) but in hind sight even though my wife feels betrayed and ignored my her family she feels 10 times better that she doesn't have to carry that secret to her grave. you still have evidence of their wrong doing and justice can be served for you, for the girl without a name nor a proper burial spot, for all the other girls that have been abused or killed, and for all the girls they are going to continue to abuse. you have the power and knowledge to stop it.
Commented Jul 18, 2013 by anonymous
Isn't there some sort of statute of limitations though? These would have been from a little over 10 years ago when I was in elementary school. Could they still legally do anything? I do live in the U.S.
Commented Jul 18, 2013 by anonymous
Nothing of this was your fault and I'm sorry you have to carry this on your mind:(
Commented Jul 18, 2013 by anonymous
the best thing to do is to get those video tapes and turn them over to the police. since you dont know if the cop is still working or where he is working send them to the FBI. I dont know if you live in the states or not but they will search anyway. just let them know that one of those guys in the video was a cop.
Commented Jul 18, 2013 by anonymous
Thanks. That was a nice thing to say, I appreciate that. I have started to try to find the two other men, but its hard to find people from years and years ago when you only know what they look like and their first name. The videos are under the floor board in my uncles old room at his mothers house.... do I could get them and the pictures or at least try to see if they are still there. I just don't want to know all of those things that I have blocked out and I would be forced to if I went and got them. It's a work in progress I guess.
Commented Jul 18, 2013 by anonymous
you may have not had the courage to do something about it then.. you may not have the courage to do it now... but one day you will. keep living. like amber berry one day you will get enough of the darkness that is plaguing you. tell someone. if not for yourself then for the girl that is lost forever due to someones evilness. your uncle didnt deserve to die but he didnt deserve to life a care free life either. maybe his death was gods way of answering your prays of not being tormented anymore. if he didnt die you would have continued to be raped by him. dont live with thw darkness of this secret in your heart. set yourself free.