My cousin(18) and I(17) are very close. We have been for a few years now. She's saved me from killing myself before. I swear, she is the most amazing person I've ever met, and she's absolutely beautiful. About six months back, I started to notice strange tendencies of mine. When we're sitting next to each other in the car, I get as close to her as possible. When we talk, I lean in close and get our faces very near one another. I slowly came to the realization that I'm in love with her. And I feel terrible about it. We're blood related, and I've been raised to believe that incest is wrong. But I can't help it. I've had countless dreams of romantic and sexual nature that involved her. And the situations only make it worse. My girlfriend of almost two years broke up with me about a month ago, and I've been very emotionally raw. Also, I guess you could say I like to be somewhat of a hero. I like to save a woman being treated poorly, because I know I could make them feel so much better. That being said, when I see a woman with a man who doesn't appreciate her, it multiplies that attraction factor. My cousin is in a relationship that's going on two and a half years. She loves her boyfriend a lot, and I know he loves her too. But he just doesn't treat her the way I think she deserves. He doesn't treat her bad necessarily, but he's occasionally disrespectful and doesn't give her a lot of attention. I know I could be a better boyfriend, and I wish I had that opportunity. But I know I never will. Because I highly doubt she feels the same. Although I can't be sure because of certain things, like her willingness to share a large bed with me. I don't know what to think, or do for that matter. I want to tell her, but I fear her reaction. I couldn't handle destroying the bond we share. Our friends make the occasional incestual joke, because they think they're funny. And by laughing it off and using the "we're cousins" excuse, I can hide my feelings. But I've told a few trustworthy people how I feel about her, and they said they could tell. So I wonder if she has her suspicions as well. I'm just not sure what to do anymore.