So, here we go! Tell me what you think and what I should ultimately do... A little about me: During the day...I'm a housewife and mother of two. Living the dream. No problems in my marriage. Hubby is amazing (too good actually), sex is good, kids are 'normal'. No horrible financial trouble. Things are just peachy. During the night after kids are asleep... I have a World of Warcraft 'hobby'.. I have played since 2008. Back in 2009 I had a little online group I ran with and did game stuff. Met a guy named Ray during that time. We ran with the same people. Nothing notable. In 2010, everyone slowly went their own way. People did new things, played other games, sort of lost touch. Fast forward to March 2012... Im in game and I see Ray and we start chatting and catching up. We chat for hours and hours. We have so much in common its crazy! The question, 'are you single,' 'do you have kids?' and our age came up. I lied on all 3 accounts. I tend to not tell people the truth about much online because I just don't want people to get too close. I don't want them to really know me. And, they never do. When I mindlessly told the standard white lies to him, I had a sinking feeling... 'Why did I just do that?' I wondered. He's different. A little time goes on and he wants more for this relationship and I really don't. I really like playing with him though! we are a good team! He's funny and makes the time more fun, the little virtual gifties in the mail don't hurt either. He pulls away if I don't want a relationship with him. So, that's where I guess it starts.... I drop my World of warcraft friends to go be in his guild (group) and our online 'affair' starts. I even dump my beloved WoW to play another game with him..... Don't get me wrong, we had a great time! Playing my favorite game for hours at a time most EVERY night, we started texting on the phone, sending pics (the pics ARE of me...not some fake person-he even knows the correct city I live in and all that), the phone sex was amazing... I can actually say that he knows more about me than most people that I see RL on a daily basis. I consider him a great friend. I would never ever leave my hubby... I knew I could never be 100% his and he is no one I would ever be happy with in RL even if I was single. RL he isn't my type-his beliefs, physically, just meh... But the virtual fantasy is wonderful! If I ever told him my true RL situation he would be even more hurt so I don't. I just always wish we could just be friends and play. Simple as that. Maybe even dabble a bit in the fantasy of it all. Keep it virtual. Why does he HAVE to have a relationship with me? If Im not in a 'relationship' with him he wont talk to me and he has become a sort of addiction. I digress... and in an effort to shorten this... I start to pull away because I really do feel bad. I know he wants someone for RL and I cant be that. Plus, I lied about being married and not having kids! I feel AWFUL about that. When he says he loves me, the feeling is not reciprocal. I just roll my eyes and say it back. I have pulled away in the past over the last almost year and a half about 5 times, but I keep wanting to talk to him again! I miss him! So I eek my way back in and it all starts over. I started a fight the other night over some stupid thing, and we are now on the 'outs'... I know I should just leave it be... but I want to talk to him again! I think ignorance is bliss about my lies... but should I tell him? Even though it will hurt him more? Why do I have this horrid addiction to him? Just to want to pull away because I don't want the same per se from him? I lied about some things about me, but he kind of manipulates me... he KNOWS Im somewhat addicted to him and he wants me in the virtual sense and RL... Why do I have this need for him? Why do I have to fight everything to not text him? Why am I depressed Im not talking to him? Should I come clean about my RL situation? Should I just leave it all well alone and stay on the 'outs' with him? Why do I care so much?