I am 29. I have been with my husband for 8 years, and married for 4. We have 2 kids. I've had little crushes, someone in passing that I thought was cute, but never had any feeling strong enough to want to cheat. I haven't enjoyed sex with my husband in years.Years. we've tried to liven things up. We are very open with each other about the fact that I am not turned on by him. I have to use lubrication just to have sex (cause there is no Desire, no turn on even with foreplay) I feel like we are just friends. I don't want to threaten this life my children have. I am not willing to get a divorce, simply because of the kids. My husband and I have talked about this also. We love each other dearly there just isn't any spark. Most of this started the last time I was pregnant, and my husband would not have sex with me. He never said it out loud but the weight I put on having a baby was not sexy to him anymore. I am now the woman he loves, but also the mother to his kids and something changed. When I see this new man, he gets my engine running. Just by the way he looks at me. The other day I saw him across the room staring at me. I looked at him, couldn't help but smile, and looked away. (Something you read about in every how to flirt article there is) he has asked my friends about me. Told them how sexy he finds me. I want him. I think about him. I have fantasies about him. I've dreamt about him. I want to sleep with him so bad. I want to feel that passion, the heat of being in the moment. I've thought about ways I could be with him so my husband doesn't find out. I know he would succumb to my advances if I made them. I don't want to hear this, you're married its a commitment you made. I know that. I've tried to keep this sexual energy and focus it in with my husband. Its not working. Im still not turned on when its my husband having sex with me for 10 minutes. I want him and I think I'm going to do it. I think the worst part is I don't think I'm going to feel bad for it. I am more interested to hear from other women who have felt this, or done this. How it turned out for you. What happened to the other man you sleep with. Did it make a spark go back into you're own marriage. Was it just one time. Was it the best sex you ever had? If you're going to get on a high horse and tell me what a horrible person I am please save your breath and the room on the page. I know this is not right, which may be a factor into why I want it so bad. At. this point I'd almost be willing to discuss an open marriage with my husband so he can do the same but we can keep our family together. Even though I know he wouldn't go for it. It would break his heart. He's not having sex with me but that doesn't mean someone else can. I want to be in this mans arms so bad I can barely stand it. Help.