I had a long distance affair for several years. I had never been loved before I met this person. I was in the process of leaving my husband so we could be together. One day I called him and he hung up on me but not before I heard a woman's voice in the background. I realized he had hooked up with his ex and I was devastated. He and his family were the only ones who had ever spoken goodness into my life and I felt physically ill from this reality check. He called me later, in tears and apologizing but I wouldn't hear it. I kindly told him I was leaving my husband and I didn't leave any forwarding information. I told everyone who knew about him, that he had died. I knew that was horrible, but I had to convince myself to stay away from him. I thought of him every day. Every single day. A number of years after I joined Facebook, I decided to look him up and I found him. He had married his ex and they had two kids with the names that he and I had picked out for our future children. I creeped his page from time to time and eventually messaged him saying I didn't want to cause any trouble but I wanted to thank him for everything he had taught me and done for me. I got a message back asking for more information, which I gave him and then never heard back. A few months later I creeped his page again to see if there was any change and I read posts on his wall that said "RIP" and "We'll miss you" etc. It took a while to sink in that he had actually passed away! I was desperate to know what happened so I went to his daughters page and she had posted a pic of their old farm dog saying it was the last pic her Dad took before he died. It was the puppy he had named after me 15 years ago. I don't know what how to make sense of it all. I never stopped loving him. I feel so bad for pretending he was dead when he wasn't.....now he really is and I wonder if it's somehow my fault..