my bestfriend and I started something that turned out to be so complicated. it has been over a year now and is currently long distance and she won't even commit. I wonder why all the time. I am always expressing my feelings to her because she wants to hear them but she rarely ever does it back. I never really see her that often and I don't know where anything is going ever. she gets mad at me for asking all the time, but I can't tell why. I know her side of this is complicated but since she never opens up with me about how she feels, I often wonder if this is even real to her. she is so concerned with how I feel, yet she can't express herself. she talks about marrying me, yet she can't commit. I finally said I would do it under some circumstances, yet once I said those circumstances, she seemed to lose interest. she now lives with her ex who she does not have feelings for, but she wishes she did. she claims she doesn't want to hurt her but its been forever now. she can't tell me she loves me or express herself. she can't talk about the future with us. she will say things like she is single, she can do whatever she wants. when I try to end it with her, she doesn't let me. when I was with someone else that is the only time she called me her girlfriend. I honestly don't know what she is waiting for. I question her motives all the time. deep down I feel like she really loves me but she doesn't act like she does. she focuses more on if other's love her than exploring her own feelings. she has depression issues. but won't get help. she is hot and then cold. I know there are a lot of problems she has but she thinks its me with all the issues. I have problems but I know what they are and I have and continue to take responsibility and get help. what is difficult is I see beneath her problems Nd I love who she is under all of it, but idk why she acts or treats me how she does. I do question whether she has feelings for me and doesn't like to express them as much as I do because she thinks I will hurt her. or she just likes that I love her. or she has attachment to me, but not real feelings or I'm feuling her ego. or she is waiting until someone else comes along and holding me til them or she thinks in time ill leave her because she has self esteem problems and thinks she's worthless (or claims to think that) or she is waiting until I can support her so she can just live off my money but doesn't have true feelings for me or something else. I have no clue. I just need something from her. its so hard because I do love her so much on many levels and I don't want to hurt her. I know I played a part in hurting her in the past even though that wasn't my intention but in the process I'm getting hurt. she knows all of this for the most part but refuses to give me anything. so in reality, I wouldnt even know if I would truly hurt her by walking away or just hurt her for some superficial reason. I would love to be with her, but I don't want to be with someone who doesn't love me the same way I love them. and I just don't know how she would act or how easily she would follow feelings for someone else if she developed another connection. because honestly, I have ignored connections with others to try for her but my fear is, I should have gone for it because if it happens to her, she will go after it and then try to get me back if it doesn't work. I just don't know what to do with any of this, so I'm doing nothing. but I can't do nothing forever. anyone have advice on how I can get her to open up and move forward or just beable to tell even when there is no obvious way here? or any other advice? anything I will take into consideration because I don't want to guess anymore or simply go on intuition.