For years I told myself I was just fantasizing, like it was an extra hot fetish, until the last year or so, when the craving for cock started to become overwhelming and nonstop. Even though I had been doing gay sex chat for years, all of the sudden I was actively trying to flirt with guys were interested in both the sex as well as romance, several times I found myself in deep conversations about how much i loved the idea of becoming an older man's boiwife Then, this year, I made a New Years challenge to myself as a sorta real way I could of seeing if I might be gay: from January 1st, I would only watch gay porn, and when I jacked off without porn, I would only think about hot gay men fucking me. I decided to hold myself to those rules until one of two things happened. E i honestly in a reality check thought id invariably get tired of it and go back to the huge variety of straight porn I used to love, in fact I thought it would be more a test of how many days I could go without pussy. And you can probably.tell I in all honesty haven't cum once to any porn involving women in any way, even bi porn, since I started the challenge. I have been watching porn, in fact pretty much nonstop when possible like a pervert, but every last video has featured a mouthwatering, throbbing cock. More than that, I've had a few gay hookups now, and even crazier than that, tomorrow night is my first date with an older sugar daddy type I've been flirting with for a while, and we've been talking seriously about grooming me from the start of our relationship to eventually become his openly gay boiwife. The worst part is, that little voice in my head that used to tell me it was all a huge kinky fantasy is gone, and I don't miss it. Im writing this without being told to for my online/soon-to-be real life boyfriend, because he's told me that me coming out to people is a huge turn on to him. This confession is 100% true!