I guess i'm a pretty sick person.. i think about killing people .. even members of my own family every day. sometimes it's all i can think about during a day. sometimes i torture animals and burn them. i like fire and i love to burn any kind of reptile and sometimes if i am mad about something i will take turtles or frogs and put them in a metal mesh net like one would dip fish out of tank with and twist it so they can't get out and burn them until they are urinating and defecating all over the place and finally kill them. i despise stupid and ignorant people and sometimes i can actually picture myself tying someone up or nailing them to a floor or piece of wood and spraying them with mace until they pass out and then cutting various random parts of their body off. i have frequent thoughts about pushing knives and broken glass and spears and needles into a woman's vagina. one time on the golf course i got angry at a snapping turtle and at first i just played with it a bit but after that got old i started trying to cram the end of the club into it's mouth and when i couldn't make it fit i turned it over and ran over it a couple of times with the cart, which didn't do much so i beat it almost to death.. i hit it once so hard that i let the club go and it stood up like a flag pole shooting out of the large turtle's back. then i decapitated it. i felt really pumped afterwards and it made me want to kill some more things but i guess.. well i guess that's kind of bad to think that way. i'm good looking and i hook up with a lot of girls who i act like i feel something for but i really don't.. as a matter of fact i don't really feel anything.. i feel disgust for humanity because people now days are just mindless copies of one another waiting for someone to else to do make their decisions. i lie pretty much all the time. sometimes when it's not even necessary. sometimes someone may ask me what i'm doing and even though it won't be anything bad or whatever i will just lie and tell them something false just because i feel like it. my most favorite lie is to say that i'm having lunch with 'paulette' *(a made up name i use frequently in lies) and that i can't talk at the moment. or that i will be into work late.. blah blah.. i also think about killing children a lot.. it's not that i mean to.. it's just that sometimes i can't look at a child without imagining or picturing what they would look like with their eyes spooned out or the skin cut off all the tips of their fingers or with a string of barbed wire poked into their rectum. i also like to fool around with girls who i really absolutely can not stand but look good enough for me to fool around with anyway so i can go tell everyone that they are a slut. not because it makes ME feel better but.. because i just.. think they deserve it. when i go to a restaurant i usually don't tip.. unless i get at least 2 refils i will not tip because i mean what are they working there for if they don't give me good service? i mean they don't have to bend over and give me a massage or anything.. but you know.. i have a lot of friends that think i care about them but i really don't.. i tell them things to make them think they are really better than they really are when actually i would like to cut them on the face or beat their knees and ankles and throat with a hammer. i have some friends in whose vaginas i would like to insert some things like bricks and sharpened pencils... when i masturbate sometimes i think about skinned animals and heads of people i've imagined decapitated.. even small children and old people... anyways i hate that i have all this going on inside me and all but i really don't care.. it's not that i don't want to change or do want to change.. i just.. am kind of indifferent as to whether i do or not.. oh and also sometimes i get so mad and enraged for no apparent reason i eat dirt and paper .. just cram it into my mouth and try to swallow it.. the last time this happened i ended up swallowing about 32 pages of typing paper.. i don't know why i did it but i just wanted to do it.. i also tried cutting myself one time.. i did it on my thigh becaue my arms are pretty.. *well my legs are pretty too but my upper thighs are not as easily exposed and the hair and excellent tan i have cover any scarring up* but anyways i ended up just rubbing my hands into the blood and licking it off like some crazed animal and then masturbating with it on my hands and for some reason it got me off amazingly. .. anyways.. i just wanted to get it all out you know.. anonymously and all.. so.. i guess that's about it.. i really hope this IS anonymous.