My wife and I have been married now for 3 years. I really love her. But she does not have the best skin. It's dry and literally falls off like powder at times. I love smooth skin. I always wanted my wife to have smooth skin and big boobs. She is beautiful and has big boobs but her skin puts me off. I have told her hundreds if times to look after herself but she is too lazy. Many times she does not even have a shower and her vagina smells. I really like to give her oral sex otherwise. I can't because it stinks too bad and I almost gag. I have told her that in a very subtle way but as said she is too lazy. She is an amazing person and I do really care about her. To satisfy my curiosity I saw prostitutes. All I needed was a feel of a woman with toned smooth skin. It was purely physical, nothing emotional. I did this several times in the past year. I have also visited massage parlours to get nude massages with happy endings. I felt guilty each time I did it, but I did it anyway. I spent quite a bit of money on this. I even went to the extent of closing the bank account and starting a new one so she couldn't get a hold of the statements. I feel really bad about it. I mean really bad. I was depressed as I wasn't performing in my job and to come home to this was just even more depressing. I snapped and committed the sin. Oh lord please forgive me. I know I have sinned badly but please give me one more chance. I love her and I don't want to lose her. I am putting an end to my habit and I want to be loyal henceforth. If I get an urge I might just watch porn and masturbate but I love her too dearly to risk it further. I may have escaped her suspicions but I can't risk it further and in fact I don't want to. I have been a terrible person for the past 2-2.5 years but I have always always cared for her. Dear God please pick me up from the swamp and give me strength to stay on the right path. I really really really am very sorry and I want to make sure that I don't ever do this again.