I cheated...
Posted May 23, 2011 by anonymous | 577 views | 3 comments
Married for 8 years. Started cheating in 2006. First it was with an old flame. Then with somone I worked with. Then with his best friend. Then with some random stranger. I hated him every time I cheated on him. My niece found out I cheated with his best friend and now I am afraid she is going to call him and tell him. She has all of the sudden taken a dislike to me. Some family fall-out where she hates my side of the fanmily. Now I am afraid she is going to tell. I am bi-polar. I get worse every year. My life has been hell since I got married. I had cancer. Wish I had died. People who die every day are the luckiest people. I am stuck in a marriage that I hate, stuck with secrets that I am disgusted by, stuck with a family who wants nothing to do with me. I have majorly fucked up. I don't want to tell him because if he never has to know, then he is not hurt. I am a horrible person and deserve a low and painful death. I would welcome it. Then no one gets hurt anymore by me. I am giving up. I am hateful, ugly, rude, mean, deceitful, selfish, and am a sorry excuse for a human being. I don't want any advice from anyone. i just wanted to confess before I decide how I am going to end this stupid life I have lead. I just want out. I want to get away from me and the awful things I have done. I would have rather been a murderer and thrown in jail then do what I did to many innocent people. I hate me. I hate me. I hate me. I hate me.
Commented Jun 8, 2011 by anonymous
But the problem is you are loved,... accept it and live and love back in anyway you can
Commented Jun 6, 2011 by anonymous
Instead of asking some mythical being to do your work for you, how about you go to a doctor and get checked for mental illness. If you are bi-polar there is medication you can take to help out and it's going actually help where praying won't.
Commented May 24, 2011 by anonymous
You are a good person. give a try to trust in God, He can make a difference. Just hold on in your faith.