When I was in 7th-10th grade, I had a big crush on this boy. He was cute and I thought he was nice. He was way out of my league though. He was popular, handsome, an athlete. I wasn't that pretty. I wasn't popular. I was pretty awkward. I was bullied by some of the people he hung out with. I accepted that and never made a move. I made an effort to keep my crush a secret, even from my friends. He flirted with me, but I thought he was joking. Like maybe his friends dared him to and they'd laugh at my expense later. But looking back on it, I don't think anyone would've kept that "dare" going as long as he did. It wasn't a one time thing. If it was a joke or dare, it went on for years. One time in the school bathroom, an older girl came in and asked me if I was dating him. She didn't seem to be mean about it. But I told her no, I wasn't. I think she asked if I liked him. I didn't want him to know, so I said no. I thought it was weird. Maybe part of his game. Now I'm wondering if she heard or saw something genuine from him. Maybe I shouldn't have lied. Another time, I heard two girls he was friends with talking. They said he liked weird girls lately. One of the girls nudged the other and looked towards me like she was saying "She's right there!". I really thought they might've been talking about me. Since I'm pretty socially awkward and never had romantic experience up to that point, I wouldn't have known flirting if it punched me in the face. He could've held up a neon sign telling me how he felt and I still would've thought it was a joke. It's been four years since I've seen him. Haven't really thought about him since. Now, I don't know why, I'm just thinking about him a lot. I'm sort of hoping I run into him somewhere and he initiates conversation. The thought of that terrifies me but I'm hoping it happens. In a dream world, I'd ask him if he really did like me back then. But I know he's probably forgotten it by now. I'm too chicken to ask anyway.