My counselor says that I need to live with my mom because "we need each other" since the cost of rent is insanely high where I live and I'm mentally ill with bipolar/depression and anxiety but I cannot stand her and she can't stand me either. I give her money for rent and bills I pay my more than my half but she is always finding an excuse to steal and take all of my money and feels entitled to more. I don't think she's a very good person. She is a liar and a thief, she stole the neighbor's brand new fan when UPS delivered it even though we have air conditioner. She sits on her ass all day smoking weed and doing crystal meth and collects social security and is always trying to to apply for loans which she doesn't plan on paying and falls for email scams even sending them $400. She tries to cash bad checks and gets credit cards, iphones, tablets and services in other people's name including my own. She ruined my credit and its been ruined since I was 18 years old but I didn't want to press charges because she's my mother. She nags and verbally tears me down everyday so my hatred for her is something that's been brewing, it got so bad that I had to dump my boyfriend of a year and a half because I was starting to take my anger out on him when I don't want to hurt him. I got paid 3 days ago and we're getting notices for bills and ran out of food and she's just been sitting there playing on her cell phone and smoking weed and when I asked when she's going to pay the bills or to give me the money so I can do it she just brushes me off over and over again. Finally I approach her directly so she has to look at me and I ask and she tries to brush me off again about it but this time I was like "No this is unacceptable! You need to pay the bills or give me my money back." Then she was like "I'm not paying shit at all let them cut off the electricity and cable your ass will starve!" Tired of her treating me like this I started to yell wanting to stand up for myself letting her know I mean business and demand my money again saying "You need to give me my damn money or I'll destroy all your stuff!" She's like "Fine then do it". So I pour water all over her bed and rub several pairs of my dirty underwear all over it. She started pushing me and calling me crazy and retarded and I told her I was going to beat her ass and do something else if she doesn't give me my money and I was serious. She kept going off on me and pushing me verbally and physically so punched her arm a few times to warn her to stop but she wouldn't so then I grabbed her by the neck and shoved her face into the couch and strangled her and began to smother her face into the cushion. It was creepy I had this creepy powerful feeling come over me amazed at my own strength thinking maybe she will respect and fear me now, but I let go because I didn't really want to hurt her. I have a sister and a niece who loves her but I hate that bitch. That only made her bitch at me and tear me down more. She thinks I'm a joke or something, and the more she treats me like that the more I want to show her I'm not joking around and I'm afraid that things will eventually go too far one these days if you know what I mean. She says I'm the devil and I'm going to hell. Yeah funny she does all these fucked up things but I'm the evil one? I don't think how I reacted was right or justified at all but I don't really feel bad about it. I kinda wish I could go into her room right now and punch her in the face a few times but I won't. I'm just so over this situation. As a kid I didn't live with her very long because the drugs kept her on the streets or in jail and my grandparents took care of me throughout most of my childhood in which she let me get abused by her ex-boyfriends who used to physically fight her (And now I'm sure she deserved it) and sent me into a bad situation which resulted in many of the mental/emotional problems I have today, so it's not like she was exactly ever mother of the year or anything. The only consequence I consider is when my sister hears about this. I know she will get furious and take my mom's side no matter what. I need to move out but I can't right now because all of my money is gone, it was supposed to go towards rent and I would have no place to go if I were to leave right now, yet I'm afraid if I don't move out soon something worse might happen.