I am sorry for my mother
Posted Sep 10, 2011 by anonymous | 573 views | 2 comments
Last year my grandfather; my last grandparent, died on my sister's 19th birthday. It came to be the worst news in the family since my family's oldest dog died. We knew this was going to happen eventually because he had lung cancer and had to be bed ridden, we had let him stay with us because my mother wanted to be there with him until the end. We thought we were prepared but the news struck hard at us like we were stabbed multiple times. He died in the hospital where my mom did see 'leave'. Later that day on my sister's birthday my mother came home and told s, "Your gandfather is dead." The whole family gave an atmosphere of sadness that a loved one was lost even my older sister was crying in my mother's arms. Even to this day I remembered my mother's words, "He always did had to be the center of attention" I sat there thinking, 'why I wasn't crying?' Instead of tears it was replaced with a smile, I had no emotions, no feeling of sadness, it felt a little more lighter on me. I thought to myself how disgusting I was to not even cry for my grandfather, the last 'grand'parent I had. I ran into the bathroom and looked at the mirror looking at myself, I saw a someone smile and then started laughing quietly. I wanted to laugh out loud so much that I pulled a towel over my mouth and laughed into it. I am sorry mom that I did that, I didn't mean to.
Commented Sep 12, 2011 by anonymous
It's ok. Were you very close to your grandfather, I mean had regular full conversations with him? If not your emotions would have just been neutral and your mothers little comment to lighten the mood would have made you laugh. Also, when somethings funny but I'm not laughing, when I look in the mirror I always laugh out loud.
Commented Sep 12, 2011 by anonymous
Well at least You have a conscience to confess this but actually a conscience Is something satan the devil uses as a weapon against Us.