I am a fraud.
Posted Jun 8, 2012 by anonymous | 613 views | 4 comments
I live in constant fear; always hypervigilant of being exposed for the pathetic infractions I've committed. To many, I'm known to be a well-liked, charismatic individual. Intelligent. Witty. Razor sharp sense of humor. Successful. But these are all lies. I have spent my adult life being a "pirate", for lack of a better word. Throughout college and graduate school, I plagiarized practically every paper I've ever written. I grew more and more sophisticated when it came to copying words and what have, but the words were never my own. The ideas and thoughts were never my own. I have become SO good at being something that I wish I had in me. But it's not me at all. It is only a veneer. A facade. I keep others at an arm's length at all times for fear that if they spent enough time with me, they'd see this in congruency that I myself have created for myself and cannot stop or get out of it seems. Lately, these past two years or so, I've been plagiarizing comedic tweets belonging to others on Twitter and posting them on my Facebook. I get a big, positive response from all my friends but now I'm in this pressure cooker once again--the way I felt back in school--of being "found out". Of being a fraud. Everyone thinks I should do stand-up or get some book deal; I behave humbly and give everyone the "no way, I don't want any kind of fame or fortune. It'd be too much for me to handle" or some asinine response. I am alone, now more than ever. And I fear I will be for the rest of my life; just being this pathetic, insecure, unhappy person who lives in fear of humiliation and ridicule.
Commented Aug 11, 2013 by anonymous
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Commented Aug 3, 2013 by anonymous
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Commented Jun 8, 2012 by anonymous
Hey just chilled forget what happen in past just look for future what will be happen next?
Commented Jun 8, 2012 by anonymous
Me, too.