Why don't they ever think before they do things at Hospitals? I had to go to the Hospital for lower stomach pains. The first thing they always want to do is put an IV in you. Now I don't have the best veins for poking at my age. They always have to stick the IV in the back of my hand. Now once they do that your hand swells up and you can't bend your hand. You may as well kiss the use of that hand goodbye the entire time you are in the hospital. Now that the IV is in my left hand the nurse asks the routine question: When is the last time you've had a tetanus shot. I seemed to recall it being around the Jimmy Carter era. So, of course she comes at me with a needle. The Mrs. had to leave the room. She faints at the sight of shots. I'm a bit squeamish myself so I closed my eyes. Before I could say I'd rather get my arm caught in the hay bailer than get a shot she pops the needle into my right arm. Now tetanus shots make my arm swell up like a garden hose that is hooked to a faucet turned on full blast and pinched at the other end. The heat that follows feels like a nuclear reactor fired up to max output. The pain, the swelling and the heat that lasts in my arm for about 3 days is comparable to the willy of a dog that has had hot water poured on it to make the dog cut loose from his mate. (something people should not do obviously, but they do it anyway). I asked the nurse why in tarnation would she put the shot in my right arm when I am right handed? She just shrugged and said it was the arm closest to her. Now, just as the pain, heat and swelling is starting to really set into my arm and I can't move it at all and I think my life couldn't get any worse the nurse comes in and holds a cup out in front of me and says I forgot to tell you they want a urine sample. I said you wait until NOW to remember that? I tried to grasp the cup with my left hand to take it from her and couldn't. I could grasp the cup with my right hand but I couldn't move or raise my arm for it to do me any good having the cup in my right hand. I am standing in front of the urinal trying to figure out how I can lift my gown, hold the cup in my right hand on an arm that won't move or raise and hold myself with a left hand that can't grasp anything. I'm sure you can understand my predicament fellows. I'll spare you the details. While jostling around switching back and forth between hands trying to find a situation that worked, by the time I was finished with my stream my urine sample was on the floor, on the wall, in my face, on the ceiling, some was even in the sink and on the mirror but none of it was in the cup!!!! Why don't these Hospital nincompoops think before they do things like this to you?!?! (This story is true. Only the name and sex has been changed. But as a female you don't even want to know what I had to do. It involves the cup on the floor and very wet feet. Getting a clean catch and wiping after was a whole other story all together.) ;)