hiatus They say the people that hurt you the most are the ones that are closest to you...I couldn't agree any more with that statement as I've been met with this most recently...I apologize if what you are about to read doesn't make much sense..I didnt sleep last night from the feeling of an emptiness in me that I doubt could be fully restored soon...So, if anything, think of this as an avant garde writing for venting... I never really was in tune with expressing my emotions but I feel I can fill out some of my emotional void through writing. I've once read a book encouraging one to express to everyone on how one feels because you'll then live a fuller life. (boy,easier said then done for me ) I guess I could start on that advice but this is the closest way for me to try and do that... This vacancy within my soul,that I mentioned of,is genuinely making my stomach churn...In all honesty, my appetite is gone and nothing really seems to matter right now...I know that's a bit selfish but I can't dig myself out of this mind f*ck. Maybe I was being overly patient, over-calculating, gutless and/or showed a lack of emotion to someone I consider dear to me...Whatever the reason, for what I had the utmost go for, I sense now is asleep. And that's what is creating my anguish. I guess I was expecting for everything to work out fine n fall into place perfectly. (pffffft, Wow, what kind of world was I in???) I know hardly anything works according to how one predicts when dealing with people...or perhaps, I just won't be a shoe-in for fortune teller of the year. Whatever the case, I felt I was enduring the times for that moment I ached for but noticed that I got the second strike recently in a subtle manner. I know the old adage is u get three strikes but at this point in my life, I'm not sure I want to see a third strike! Pondering through self-reflection, I realized almost everything I didnt want to encounter, is ultimately happening...And me being based on the logical side of things, getting jerked on the emotional side, hurts a bit more because this is practically uncharted territory for me.. Confusion, frustration, anger, negativity and sadness are all racing in my mind, body n soul.Thus, it's not a good time for me to be hanging out. I'm just a overly private man that needs his space to mend my mind into a positive mode. Therefore, I request a moment of understanding perhaps. So, don't take anything personally from my end for whatever neglect I may present... EZ