I'm sorry about taking up time and space to say this. I tried to sleep and couldn't tonight, so I'm up again. It's way too late to call anyone, so I'm kinda venting right now (again) : ). I think I was proposed to tonight without being proposed to. Okay, I'll explain... I'm afraid of marriage, so therefore, committment of any kind. This guy knows this about me. Only my son has managed to steal my heart for good, well... also, my pets. Somebody I've known for a couple years or so asked me to spend the rest of my life travelling with him. He knows I'm not looking for marriage and he mentioned that it wasn't him asking me to marry him just so I wouldn't feel uncomfortable. I am not and have not been romantically involved with him, just like really good friends. He's alot of fun, very smart with a great personality. He's also very well off (financially set) and used to having alot of women in his life, most of good quality. I told him I had to think about it, but because I hesitated, he took it as an insult, I'm pretty sure. He told me I was his first choice and yes, I should be flattered, but I'm skeptical. I love him dearly as a friend, so I don't want to hurt him. I could live the good life for the remainder of mine, and yes, he'd take care of my son also, but I'm not in love with him like the way I think he deserves, but he doesn't seem to be concerned with that. I sorta know my own answer to this, but I don't want to lose him as a friend, and I might have to in a way - although I DO think we'll always remain friends even if it is from a distance. He's the one with the psychology degree, not I, but I think I know what's going on here. He told me he was in love with me a few times and I never took it seriously before, but now, I know he's serious. I don't feel the same way. I love him, but not that way. I've been in the position before and it didn't seem so hard. What makes it so difficult this time around is... where I'm at in life at this point. I think he would help me make my dreams come true. I am not a user by any means, but in a way, I'd feel like I was using him, but I don't want to tell him that, or know how to word it so he understands. Truth is... I don't want to lose him as friend, and I don't know how not to hurt him by saying no. In a way, the idea appeals to me because I know we'd have a blast and I'd never have to work another day in my life on anything other than the relationship with him. On the other hand, I've been almost ultra-independent my entire life, and would get much more satisfaction from becoming a success on my own. I don't know, I'm getting older, and that is a fact. My son is getting closer to college age, and he's very bright. I've been a single Mom and pretty much his sole provider for years now. I have done pretty well on my own and overcome many obstacles or hurdles in my life, so I know I can continue to make it on my own. I'm getting tired of working my ass off though, I really am. This is not my first proposition by a millionaire, but what if it's my last? I'm not in my 20's anymore. I'm damn near 40, even if I can pass for much younger, that is a fact also. I'd really like to hold out for the real deal, but what if it never happens? The last guy I was with even told me he thought I deserved better than him (in so many words) and he was a millionaire also (yes,I admitted that on here under a different screen name), but I've also had guys tell me I needed to quit being so damn picky and settle down. I am confused. Please be honest about anything you say regarding this. I am totally for real, and at a turning point in my life. My Grandmother and even my Mom are pushing for me to stop being so damn single. I'm used to it and I like it. In fact, I claim to be in love with my animals and yes, it's meant faciciously, but yeah, I can easily be married also, even without the piece of paper. I really do get asked out all the time. This guy is basically offering for me to leave my present life and move onto something that may be considered much better. I know him and of course, I DO like him or I wouldn't hand out with him. I don't know what to do.