Hating yourself
Posted Aug 23, 2014 by anonymous | 186 views | 1 comments
When I'm sad, I can't eat. I don't feel like I deserved to eat. Bad days,like this, I usually burns myself. My best friends don't know about it. Sometimes I have panic attacks. Once,I even womitted because of it. During the last year I had been crying every day,but my parents didn't notice the problems I had. I was the other girl. A girl was cheated on,and I was the other who have to walk the street,see the girlfriend and pretend that nothing has ever happened between me and her boyfriend,pretend that I don't have feelings for him. I tried to convince myself that it's the boy's fault,but it's mine as well. And look at them,they are together almost for one year and I still feel bad sometimes. Probably, the girl will never know what her boyfriend did twice. I feel like I'm not enough and I never will. But the main problem,that I don't even like my personality. My soul. The person who I am. I hate my appearance,but I hate what's inside too. The others just see a smiling and kind girl who always puts on make up and wear pretty clothes. The a girl with bright language skills and a lots of friends. A girl who likes to go out and party. Drinks,smokes(weed as well) and having fun. But when she goes home,when she is without her friends or party music,alcohol,she just finds myself in her room and feels that nothing can be so empty like her. So hurt and unloved. And. and. yeah. I'm just 17 now. I'm keep smiling,because it will be okay. It have to be...
Commented Aug 27, 2014 by anonymous
I do pretty much the exact same you do apart from alcohol etc ( im only 15) but i know what its like i have often thought about suicide aswell but as you can tell have never done it