Grudge Match
Posted Mar 2, 2011 by anonymous | 127 views | 0 comments
The other day, I snuck into an illegal Velvet Cage Grudge Match. No rules. No bravery. No mercy. Two contestants were stuffed into a minuscule velvet cauldron and forced to duke it out until one or the other was bleeding whimsically and unconscious. One of the contestants, nicknamed The Wet Dude, wore blue pairs of pants, and the other, nicknamed The Grumbling Horseshoe, was wearing some kind of silky thing on his kneecap. Anyway, an enormous referee in a cold sock rang the bell, and The Wet Dude and The Grumbling Horseshoe came out spitting. The Dude led with a roundhouse thwack to the toenail, but the Horseshoe blocked with his arm. Then the Horseshoe pulled a pile of drainpipes out of his pockets and slammed them into the Dude's finger. Then the Dude stuffed the Horseshoe into a small cup and jumped up and down on it. But then the Horseshoe shot the cup and took The Dude and condemned him and touched him and wore him until there was this nasty mushy sound, and grapefruit juice started flowing everywhere. But at the last minute, the Dude recovered, and they lifted each other's belly buttons, and the crowd went dirty, and all in all, it was a great time at the Velvet Cage Grudge Match.
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