Getting passed the past
Posted Jul 13, 2013 by anonymous | 378 views | 10 comments
I've been raped multiple times by multiple men. It's like I attract the wrong type of person. I am trying to date, but I keep ending up with men who do not respect me. I know I need to respect myself first and build self esteem, but I don't know how. I still enjoy sex, but sometimes I have flashbacks and start to dissociate during the act. Therapy just doesn't seem to be helping. I feel hopeless and helpless. I hate myself. I saw one of the men who raped me while I was at the zoo a month ago. I rarely leave my house, but I promised some kids I love that I would take them. I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. I had to snap myself out of it. I live alone and it's difficult to sleep. I am terrified of leaving my house. I feel like everyone knows that I'm used and no good. I feel disgusting. Men don't rape for sex, they rape for power. Therefore, even though people tell me I'm beautiful all the time, I don't believe it. I know, logically, that I couldn't be ugly based on the way ppl treat me. It doesn't change the way I feel about myself. The stress of everything makes me eat. I hold my weight well. I have a large chest and a big butt, but I'm overweight. Please be kind?
Commented Jul 15, 2013 by anonymous
Calm down dear and beware from next time.
Commented Jul 14, 2013 by anonymous
Calm down and be more mature.
Commented Jul 13, 2013 by anonymous
get the fuck out-tah here-ah!!! she likes the bad boy type but wants jesus in bed. stop dating freaking losers & you'll see a brighter world. YES!!! that mini skirt with a thong makes look like a whore, wear a summer dress
Commented Jul 13, 2013 by anonymous
No problem since you were very brave telling us this i thought the least i could do was tell that prick to bugger off. You asked us to be kind and that is going to be.
Commented Jul 13, 2013 by anonymous
Thank you for defending me!
Commented Jul 13, 2013 by anonymous
It''s okay, I knew there would be at least one person who was going to be inappropriate. What those types don't realize is they contribute to rape culture and give rapists comfort in their actions. If people laugh and blame the victim, the rapist is that much less to blame in society's eyes. I'm no feminist, but I do believe, logically anyways, that rapists are to blame for rape. Saying men can't control themselves is much more of a slap in the face to men than victims. "Ohhhh! I can see her silhouette, better force her to have sex with me!" Again, rape is an act of violence and control. Sex is merely the tool used to dominate. I won't even justify the comment by defending my choice of clothing.
Commented Jul 13, 2013 by anonymous
Eeyyy be nice dick :P
Commented Jul 13, 2013 by anonymous
Uhm Maybe you should stop dressing like a tramp ????
Commented Jul 13, 2013 by anonymous
It's funny you say that because I prefer bigger guys. They make me feel safer. I think what most people don't take into account is rapists are everyday people. They're childhood friends, neighbors, classmates... The statistics show most rapes happen between two people who already know each other. The only person I give harsh judgement to is myself. It seems I think I know people before I actually do. I appreciate your feedback :) You're def right about therapy! I wish I could just skip ahead to the part where I'm confident
Commented Jul 13, 2013 by anonymous
sounds like you need to see a therapist for awhile then find a nice guy dont go just on looks get ti know them even if they are bigger guys