getting back together
Posted Mar 2, 2011 by anonymous | 78 views | 0 comments
I'm going on a date with her again today-- 10 and a half months after we broke up-- she broke up with me. And she's the one that told me that if I asked her on a date again, she wouldn't say no. I admit I'm a bit ambivalent about this. I still care about her. I've never felt any real anger towards her. But when she gave up on communication, I lost the one thing I was sure would keep us moving forward. As soon as she felt I was fitting the pattern of her incredibly manipulative and controlling mother, I was left with nothing to say, and I'm still there. I'd like to believe it could work again. I just don't know if she's able to go all in-- to decide to give me a new chance without reference to her past. I don't think I want to be in a relationship. I like the hard, uncompromising feeling of ignoring beautiful women. I like to think that there's some perfect person out there for me-- someone that leaves me without a shred of doubt, and has no doubt themself. I'd like to at least have the confidence that the person most interested in me is capable of being in love. Unless it would be crazy not to be, I'd like to be single. I'm afraid of what could happen in this relationship if it does get started back up again. She'd never be able to compromise. She'd have to get her own way or feel like she was being enslaved. It's an impossible place.
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