This is late in coming. I've been preoccupied and unavailable as becoming engaged recently explains. First my apologies to Gen. I know you were upset with my statement about stanno and I parting due to one line that mentioned you. I can't even explain that line because I don't know how it came out the way it did. I'm sorry. I hadn't had much sleep since we parted and when I came on Raw for KKK posters started hitting me up as { Phoenix so I knew I needed to make a post in a hurry with the truth before the rumors flew. No excuse I know. But with little sleep and in hurrying the sentence came out wrong and without explanation why I included you in the first place. I had intended a paragraph stating even though you and stanno and stanno and I didn't work out internet dating does work for those without the problems we had. You were going away for a year and I have a bad heart which wouldn't have been a problem if there wouldn't have been a 2 year wait. As you said about being driven crazy by not being able to see, feel, or touch stanno it was the same that was putting horrendous stress on my heart which finally stopped beating from being worn down by the stress. I wouldn't have lasted 2 years in waiting. As it is damage has been done to my heart and my outlook isn't promising. I went into a relationship with stanno knowing my heart was a problem as I explained to him. I wasn't expecting a 2 year wait problem, otherwise love conquers all and should've made my heart stronger. Internet relationships do work, just not in our cases with stanno's location and our own circumstances. Hope that clears up what I had meant to post. As for turbo's sweetpea we seem to always be at odds – eh?. You probably believe I hate you. Actually I don't. If I didn't care as one Christian to another I wouldn't even bother. I belong to a spiritual site with those who've died and came back (3 times for me now) and listen to what those that went the wrong way in life have to tell about what they saw. It's horrifying and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. And - !!! – probably hates me praying for him. The hardest to accomplish is also the most important and that's doing unto others as you'd do unto Christ and forgiveness for those that persecute you. As Christians Christ dwells in you the same as Christ dwells in me. When I did wrong by you, I did wrong by Christ which dwells in you. It was important to get your forgiveness as it's also Christ's forgiveness. Does that make sense to you? When you attacked me on Good Friday you were attacking Christ. Until you realize you're attacking Christ in other Christians you're never going to realize you're harming yourself the most by you actions. Life's too short and can end without warning to have done things we haven't asked forgiveness for or haven't forgiven others for. Christians aren't perfect people as non-Christians believe they should be. We all make mistakes or let our tempers get the better of us. I came to my senses about what I had done to you and to “Christ” and asked your forgiveness. If nothing else look at the divisions you've caused among the regular posters of Raw. I'm sorry, but if you look back the regular posters got along until you came to Raw. First there was the fight with Vic, me, then Dawn and then words to KKK at a time when he was ill. The regular posters have been divided and stay divided since you came along. Do you think causing this kind of trouble could go on in Heaven? It's why people who behaved this way have come back with horror stories. They talk of the importance of forgiveness now and getting along with their fellow man. You're a good poster with a great sense of humor. We've coexisted on Raw in peace. So it can be done. My last fight with you was over what you said to KKK. What you did to KKK you also did to ME. I posted the importance of positive energy. I was in prayer for KKK and was here joking with him to keep his positive energy up. What you said to KKK was also a blow to the prayers and positive energy everyone was giving to KKK. It's one thing to cause a division of the regular posters, but to deliver a blow to the positive energy and prayers for someone who is ill! Honestly, if you felt you owed an apology to KKK I'd take back everything I've ever said about you. You should realize it's Christ too you'd be getting your forgiveness from. At least I'm not going to be around Raw much for you to worry about my “whacko” thinking when it comes to Christianity. It may sound sudden to everyone for KKK and I to be getting married. Actually it's not. We've been friends for a long time. We became extremely close when I was praying for him and there for him every day by email. Then we began using better means to keep in touch and get to know each other more. After a while we realized we were a perfect match. He writes songs and I am a writer who also write lyrics. We're both outspoken....especially when provoked. LOL!! We have the same likes and dislikes on the important issues. We're both devoted Christians. So, we felt we should at least give it a go and see what happens. We both had either means or money to fly to meet, but he felt with my heart condition it was best for him to come to me. He is a dream come true. When he asked me to marry him I didn't think twice. Even if I had second thoughts when he took me to my jewelers and told me to choose any ring I wanted as money was no object....how could I not want to marry him then? LOL!! But, at least we don't have to worry one is marrying the other for their money as we are both worth several million. Mine is in property and his is in cash so it works out beautifully. I don't have to worry about any delays in moving to Canada which will be soon as we'll be able to live off of his money. I grew up spending summers in Canada and used to do business in Canada when I owned my magazines. I still have a lot of friends in the area where he lives so this will be like going home to me. Only this time I'll be with the man I love. So, again I have to say, as always, online relationships do work.