(there's alot of back story, but you need it for the end. I promise) I once knew this boy(let's call him H), and he was amazing. We met back when we were kids, but we weren't really friends till i started highschool. God i was so young and naive back then. I started to like H, he had grown and developed into a fine man, and I had developed hormones. Anyways, I was pretty much totally gaga for him, but i was afraid if he found out he wouldn't return the feelings, so i kept it a secret. Then one day my friend blurted out that i liked H to his face, and well i denied it, but still it was so embarrassing i nearly died. I told him later that day that I didn't like him that way. He replied with what seemed disappointment and i should had taken it that way, but i was stupid. I mean a girl even told me H was flirting with me all the time, but i denied that. Around this time another boy took attention to me (lets call him Y), he was older by two years and H hated him. I thought it was just due to the fact that Y was a "bad boy". Anyways to make a long story short both boys told a different girl that he liked me. Y told one of my closest friends and H told some girl i used to be friends with. I decided i would just wait it out and see which boy asked me out first. Then came around this girl(lets call her D). She had a major crush for H and decided to tackle this head on, long story short: they go out, i question, they break up, i question some more H gives no answer just lols. My friend convinces me to go out with Y even though we've never had one convo before. It's been years since that and i've only talked to H like twice since then (not really convo just random run ins where we say hi) Y and i have been over for a long time and i've gone threw my share of boys since then. Now I'm with my new man (Lets call him P). SO even though P is really insanely good to me and ever so sweet, sometimes i can't help but think H. He's like some plague that i can't get rid of. I thought i was fully over it. I mean there wasn't really anything to get over right? We were just friends!! Still though my mind wanders, not to like weird fantasys really. I just wonder what would have happened if i had gone out with H rather than Y. Or what would of happened if i had tried to start up our friend ship again after one of those run ins? Is there something wrong with me? Do i need professional help? What should i do? Is there a way to stop all this thinking?