Feeling Indirectly Guilty
Posted Sep 10, 2014 by anonymous | 251 views | 4 comments
Earlier this year, one of my classmates committed suicide. It's been several months since and I still can't shake the overbearing blackness that has fallen on me. This kid I grew up with, my first play boyfriend in grade school, a kid I saw in the halls every day saw no other solution to end his misery but to die. What really could I have done? Well, I'm a member of so many groups/clubs that are supposed to be suicide-prevention based and as a class officer I'm supposed to reach out to those who look like they're hurting. I've literally been trained to pick up on signs of beginning suicide thoughts and become the intervention. WHY WASN'T I THERE FOR HIM? Why was I so consumed with myself that I didn't pay attention to a human being crying out for help RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME? He left his family, friends, and school in a state of shock and utter confusion. But, eventually the tragedy seemed to pass, becoming old news for everyone else. The amount of pain and guilt I still have is slowly killing me, but maybe that's for the best. If I can't save one, then who am I to save myself?
Commented Sep 12, 2014 by anonymous
If you are feeling very guilty, talk to someone. But, no need to feel guilty. You did not expect him to do this, otherwise I am sure you would have said or done something to try and stop him. Right? So no need to feel guilty. His parents didn't see it did they? And they lived with him.....jus sayin.
Commented Sep 12, 2014 by anonymous
No he's not - YOU are the fucking loser. Go back to jacking off to your boyfriend pics.
Commented Sep 11, 2014 by anonymous
Try not to beat yourself so, with guilt! There alway's a reason for a reason that generally would have helped your friend"! I am not certified in any way or form, but to keep yourself from you being a second victim of circumstance stay positive ! The definition of suicide " a permanent answer to a temporary problem ",,,
Commented Sep 11, 2014 by anonymous
I guess you're a fucking loser like him.