Fear
Posted Dec 1, 2012 by anonymous | 309 views | 2 comments
I'm scared of so many things...scared to let the guy I like know the truth about me, scared of failure; so bad that I regularly set myself up for it, scared of seeing my world crumble before me, scared of close relationships, scared of the human interaction which I desperately crave, but at the same time, run from, scared of the dawning future that is brimming on the horizon, scared of leaving my empty, sad shell which I've used as a barricade from the rest of the world, for so long, to hide myself from any potential attacks of unprecedented hurt and pain..I wish, I didn't feel this sense of emptiness, and weariness, from dragging out each unproductive, dull day after another, drowning myself in this state of mindless, meaningless, almost robotic existence...And yet, I struggle to find myself freeing myself from its destructive, tight bonds; even momentary bouts of freedom are quickly followed by cowardly descents back into that void...even though I possess all this knowledge, even though I want to change, I know I should change, I could change...maybe...if I tried...I just,somehow..can't
Commented Dec 5, 2012 by anonymous
You're an artist! You're sensitive. This is the way you're wired. Write! Make music! Paint! You live with fear every day. You're an expert. This sensitivity will and should never go away. It's your burden as a human being. The only way to process it is to externalize it in art or some creative activity that grabs your soul and that you can 100% control. Don't run from the fear. Go into it. It has something to tell you and has been trying to get your attention. Trust your subconscous. It is wiser than you can ever know. Speak to your subconscious through the language of art. It will transform your experience of the world, but the sensitivity will never go away and there will always be new horizons to unfold. Best of luck on your journey.
Commented Dec 3, 2012 by anonymous
You need to get over the fear by taking the help of counseling.