EVERYONE IN ELMWOOD PARK BEWARE IF YOU ARE NOT A 'DEAR NEIGHBOR' TO THE CHIEF OF POLICE. I WAS DRIVING IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD ONE DAY, WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, A BLACK VEHICLE WITH FLASHING LIGHTS APPROACHED ME. IT WAS AN UNMARKED VEHICLE, AND IT WAS REALLY ODD THAT THIS VEHICLE SHOULD STOP ME. IT WAS ALSO VERY SCARY THAT THIS GUY MIGHT BE AN IMPERSONATOR. HE CAME OUT OF HIS CAR AND SAID HE WASN'T 'THE REAL POLICE' BUT HE WOULD GET THE REAL ONES TO COME OUT AND TICKET ME FOR NOT STOPPING AT THE STOP SIGN, AND SPEEDING. I BET THAT WAS THE REAL REASON HE STOPPED ME! HE PROBABLY NOTICED THE BUMPER STICKERS ON MY CAR, SAYING 'STOP BITCHING, START A REVOLUTION,' AND THE OTHER ONE WHICH PROBABLY OFFENDED HIM THE MOST (SINCE HIS SON IS PROBABLY AN HONOR STUDENT) 'MY DOG IS SMARTER THAN YOUR HONOR-ROLL STUDENT' -- TRUTH IS, THAT MY DOG IS ACTUALLY SMARTER THAN THE CHIEF HIMSELF. ANYWAY, I WAS SCHEDULED TO APPEAR IN COURT, AND GUESS WHAT? HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS SHOWED UP, AND IT WAS JUST TOO IMPRESSIVE FOR JUDGE KOWALSKI AT THE MAYBROOK COURT HOUSE, BECAUSE HE MADE COMMENTS ABOUT TWICE IN A ROW THAT IT IS NOT OFTEN THAT A CHIEF COMES TO COURT TO TESTIFY. THE JUDGE WAS ALSO VERY RUDE AND VIOLATED SEVERAL CANONS FROM THE CODE OF JUDICIAL CONDUCT, AND INDICATED THAT I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN A THIRD INFRACTION FOR HAVING BEEN DRIVING SO CLOSE TO THE CHIEF. WELL, THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS THAT I PERSONALLY BELIEVE THAT WHEN I PASSED THE CHIEF UP, WHEN HE PULLED TO THE CURB TO LET ME PASS, HE SIMPLY WANTED TO SEE WHO I WAS. HE THEN IDENTIFIED ME AS BEING HISPANIC AND DECIDED TO STOP ME. LOOK AT THE STATISTICS OF ELMWOOD PARK; THE MAJORITY OF THE RESIDENTS ARE CAUCASIAN. WITH ALL THE PROBLEMS WE ARE HAVING IN THE US RE: ILLEGAL ALIENS, DO YOU THINK THE THOUGHT OF HAVING ME DEPORTED, DIDN'T CROSS THE CHIEF'S MIND? oooooooooooooohhhhh I BET HE WAS DYING TO FIND OTHER THINGS TO TICKET ME FOR. THANK GOD FOR THE JUDICIAL INQUIRY BOARD, BECAUSE THE JUDGE WILL BE HAVING A NICE CONVERSATION WITH SOME OF THE BOARD MEMBERS THERE. I COMPLAINED ABOUT THE CHIEF ABUSING HIS POWERS TO THE VILLAGE OF ELMWOOD PARK, BUT OF COURSE -- AS IS TO BE EXPECTED, I DID NOT GET A RESPONSE, BUT I DID HAVE TO PAY $180 FOR THE TWO TICKETS. MORAL OF THE STORY; IF YOU ARE HISPANIC-LOOKING, CONTINUE TO DRIVE IN ELMWOOD PARK. AS LONG AS YOU ARE A LAW-ABIDING CITIZEN, YOU CAN GO WHEREVER YOU WANT IN ELMWOOD PARK. RACISTS WILL JUST HAVE TO DEAL WITH THEIR PROBLEM.