As it stands I've never been known to have good judgement; I've also always been an obsessive fellow and at times these things come to cause me some major conflict. I have a habit of being obsessive when I like something. With video games I play them non-stop until I've gotten everything I can get from it, when a band catches my interest I listen to all their discography and pick what I enjoy. I've never be able to drop what I enjoy either, I just cling on to it. I suppose what makes this situation different from the usual obsession is that this obsession is not an object; it's a person rather. My newest obsession is my girlfriend, and it's really strong. Initially we met while I was working as a barista in shitty little coffee shop, she'd pass by the window day by day and stare inwards. Sometimes she'd take notice I was watching her and she'd look away, I wasn't too sure what was going on but eventually she drew up the courage to come inside. Despite being silent she ordered a large frappe and walked away; even at just a glance there was something about her that enraptured me. Long black hair, sparkling green eyes and a small petite frame set together was just beautiful. So after showing up a few times she decides to spew a word beyond "Hello" and asks me if I have a girlfriend; since I enjoy playing around I asked why and we went into a courtship ritual of sorts. She'd seek me out and I'd answer vaguely or turn my attention elsewhere, where as soon as she would leave the slightest gap for me to pull an amorous response from her I would. I thought soon enough I'd fuck around with her head so much so that she'd just decide to leave and I'd be bored again; fortunately I was proven wrong when she just asks me on a date. To go out with such a beautiful woman was a chance I wouldn't let slip from me; we go out and our relationship becomes the most fulfilling thing I've ever had before. I stop thinking about most things and every moment in which we are apart becomes a sort of emotional torture. I ask he how she feels about the time we've spent together and it appears as though I'm not the only one who feels that way. No both of us can't stand to be away from one another and thoughts of her consume most of me. As soon as started to get intimate it became part of our usual reunion ritual since we do not live together. There was one occasion where we had to spend a week apart and both of us seemed to crumble a bit. She cried endlessly for a week and I while getting to one of my more "out of touch" lows I used a knife to carve her name into my arm. Needless to say when we met again she wasn't too pleased with me but still, as all consuming as these thoughts are I can't find myself avoiding them. I've pushed all sorts of people away from me worrying that someone will touch what belongs to me. She seems to have gone the same route by slowly dissolving her relationships and friendships at work. This is not healthy, that is something I know; but I cannot do anything about it. I assume she might be the same way, she and I are both going to the point where we are being consumed by our need to be with one another.