DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS: 40-ish...................................49. Adventurous..........................Slept with everyone. Athletic.................................No breasts. Average looking.....................Moooo. Beautiful...............................Pathological liar. Emotionally Secure................On medication. Feminist................................Lesbian. Free Spirit.............................Junkie. Friendship first.......................Former Slut. New-Age................................Body hair in the wrong places. Old-fashioned........................No B.J.'s Open-minded........................Desperate. Outgoing........................... ....Loud and embarrassing. Professional..........................Bitch. Voluptuous...........................Fat. Large frame..........................Very fat. Wants soul mate...................Stalker. DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH: Yes.....................................No No......................................Yes Maybe.................................No We need..............................I want I am sorry...........................You'll be sorry We need to talk....................You're in trouble Sure, go ahead....................You better not Do what you want.................You will pay for this later I am not upset......................Of course, I am upset, you moron! You're attentive tonight............Is sex all you ever think about? DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH: I am hungry...............................I am hungry I am sleepy................................I am sleepy I am tired...................................I am tired Nice dress...................................Nice cleavage! I love you...................................Let's have sex now I am bored..................................Do you want to have sex? May I have this dance?.................I'd like to have sex with you. Can I call you sometime?..............I'd like to have sex with you. Do you want to go to a movie?......I'd like to have sex with you. Can I take you out to dinner?........I'd like to have sex with you. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit..............I'm gay.