So I'm a guy. 16, junior in high school. I love my life, except for 2 things: friends and the single world. Pertaining to the single life though, this month my ex boyfriend recently broke up with me, and it kinda got me down. I was miserable for about a week after he did. I was depressed, lonely, hated myself... I thought it was all my fault; that he might have found something in me that he now hates and he went with it. The truth? He wasn't attracted to me anymore. His feelings for me that he had when we first started dating are gone. But I'm still in love with him. He was my first boyfriend and he actually treated me right, was sensitive. When he needed me (and needs me) I was there. And I'll still be there for him now, but I'll still be heartbroken. We talked about it last night and he isn't considering us getting back together. Like the Taylor Swift song lol. But that makes me die inside. On the outside I say I'm fine just to shut people up, but the truth is that I was still in love with him and he just broke up with me out of (literally) nowhere.... So I told him that I'll have to just suck it up and move on which is maybe what I have to do. Deal with it. Just accept that he's not gonna want me anymore. But I do suffer from depression and when I break, those true feelings are expressed MUCH more.. But I've been trying to move on. I've talked to guys on Meetme. Most of the ones that message me back have boyfriends--and I hate that. On my phone it doesn't indicate if they're single or not... So I guess I have no way of knowing. But every guy there I happen to like is always taken... I've never found a guy who will love me for me besides my ex. Here, pertaining to friends it's almost the same thing. I don't have any guy friends who are gay or bi in school, but that's what I want. Yet the gay or bi friends I DO have are online, out of state.... And when I tell them I'd love to meet them in person here they always say they can't make it. That's the horrible thing. But I really deep down do hate being single. I'm not some crazy needy nutjob but I've always wanted a guy here who would love me for me no matter what. Someone to protect me, respect what I am, won't change me but embrace me with open arms, and be loving... But for where I live, it's extremely a straight and homophobic town. I'm gay and one of maybe 3 or 4 openly gay guys in my school. The guys I talk to who seem gay, I always talk to them and when I vocalize my thoughts (isn't honesty the best policy? I guess not for coming out) they get defensive and say they're straight. One of the aforementioned guys even flirted with me in the hallway once when no one was looking. I was not out yet, so I laughed when he said what he said. Because I didn't trust many guys at my school and thought if I told him what I REALLY thought about him (that I was head over heels for him but was too nervous to say it) that he'd spread the rumor and tell all my friends. A few months ago, I talked to the same guy. I asked him if he's gay or bi, but said I'd keep it between us, that I'd never tell a secret because I know how it feels to be exposed of some secret told in confidence. And he said in caps in a reply to me, "I'M STRAIGHTTTTT"..... I get lonely a lot, and have always really wanted a cute guy who likes me like in the movies. My straight girl friends have that with their boyfriends, so why can't I as well?.... I mean my dad died, and my grandma died as well, and all I have is my mother now. We have a close relationship but I'd still want a gay guy to talk to....