I can't figure out why we hear how 'deadbeat dads (or moms) are being prosecuted, sent to jail, etc. I divorced a very wealthy man in 1993 after he requested that I stand up with him and 'marry' his secretary because he loved me, our son, but also her and her children. After 6 months of hell, she gave him an ultimatum that he either leave me or she would never see him again. He told her 'good_bye', then proceeded to inform me I would have to be his secretary or he would just find someone else and do it all over again. At that point I decided to go along with him long enough to put some money aside. The problem was that for months before I knew about the girlfriend, he would chastise me because there was never enough money to pay all our bills. He would tell me in a very condescending way that if I couldn't even pay a few bills, he would have one of the 'girls' who worked for him take care of our personal bills. I, of course would feel like the most ignorant person in the world and tell him I could manage. When his girlfriend left, I learned that not only had he bought her a brand new car, he was paying for her beachfront apartment and she had a credit card in his and her name. That was the last straw. The humiliation of being made to feel ignorant was actually worse than knowing he was having an affair. There was no money to pay our bills because he owned the company and was using our income to support her! He told me he would give me $50,000.00 and I might as well sign the papers because I didn't have the money to hire a good attorney. I sold my gold president Rolex (a gift from him) for about 1/3 it's value, got a good attorney, and got a $600,000.00 settlement to be paid out over 10 years. I hoped to finish college while raising our 10 year old son, and start a new life. He paid the child support and alimoney for 11 months, filed bankruptcy, and ran all his income through his dad, under the table. I spent the next 12 years fighting for support through 3 states, and CSI out of Texas. No one could get anything for my son and I because he showed no income while living the high life. Last September, I lost my job. I had been trying to support myself and my son on less than $25,000 a year and was deeply in credit card debt. Due to duress, I ended up settling back child support, alimony, health insurance, etc. for $93,000. That sounds like a lot, but not when you're over $80,000 in debt and unemployed. I managed to pay off my bills, except for my home, which is 90 years old and in terrible repair, but due to stress I ended up suicidal. I am now on disability for depression/anxiety, agoraphobia, rheumatoid arthritis, and a ruptured disc in my back. My disability will not pay enough to pay a house payment, utilities and car insurance, much less other costs, such as GROCERIES ! My ex has a $100,000 a year job now, owns and pumps 6 oil wells, and inherited 1/3 of his fathers estate. I know other women have made it on less while raising children. I don't know how they survive. My complaint is, why can the richest people get away with non-payment of child support, while some poor guy making $8.00 and hour gets garnished and loses his job because of it. LADIES BEWARE !! Get all you can up front as our state child support system is overloaded, and no one can really help you. Out of three states tracking my ex husband, none of them were able to even rescind his drivers license. If not for the fact that he had to have a passport for his job, I literally would be on the streets now. My son has so much resentment that he needs psychological help now, drinks excessively and is miserable. All because he could never understand why his father who, by the way, wanted another child more than anything when I married him, could suddenly act as though he didn't exist. His father didn't even see him for over 8 years. Also, I was told by several attorneys that adultery means nothing to judges anymore so the reason for the divorce was the old reliable 'irreconcilable differences'. Before getting married, my advice is ' BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID!' Best of luck to anyone out there trying to support your family alone. Sincerely, Karen