I’ve been masturbating for almost 17 years. I first found myself trapped by this habit when i was 9 or 10 year old. Being a kid I found this thing very exciting and fascinating so i would do it 4 to 5 times a day sometimes more than that. 9 times is the max i remember and that day my legs were trembling with weakness. It was early 2000 so i would use TV and women/girls in neighbourhood and in relatives. Some of those women are dead now. Affects of masturbation were there since the beginning but being a kid you can’t really notice those or don’t want to care about those. But if i look back now i see everything was happening from the beginning. I was a very lively kid and would interact with the people/relatives/friends and eventually i found myself far from everyone. Because of the excessive masturbation i couldn’t enjoy lively teenage life like other teenager do because when i reached my teenage, i was already so skinny and my face was like a skull/skeleton and i was always afraid of getting exposed. So i would avoid standing with the boys in neighbourhood. After 8 or 10 years of excessive masturbation i realised it is wrong and i need to stop it. 2 months is the record time i ever stopped myself doing it but again i found myself trapped. I’m now 27 and i feel very lonely. I feel distance from my parents/family. Now imagine what would it be like with the friends/people you know. My dad is very friendly with the people and has the ability to turn someone into his friend in mins. I’m totally opposite to what my dad is. Now i’m so far from religion or society i’m skinny and do it almost everyday and tell myself i wont do it tomorrow and tomorrow i do it again like a drug addictive does. Here are the some major side-effects i’m facing. - Confidence Level Low - Skinny, Weaker, Ugly - Small penis size - Thin hairs, Weaker Bones, Weaker Tooth Gums - Feel guilty all the time - Avoid participating in gathering and talking to the people - More anxiety and anger, Yelling on the parents whereas things can be done with just a smile. - Anti-social and unfriendly - Can’t achieve any goal - Can’t work longer in a day - After doing it i decide to compromise on everything, my work, my family, my friends, society i live in, the religious duties, - Feel far from the GOD Don’t know who to blame myself or GOD. If only i was not told about this devilish thing in the childhood my life would be much happier and healthier. I feel sorry for my family and parents and i can’t give them happiness. I’m just desperate!