crazy love
Posted Mar 2, 2011 by anonymous | 132 views | 0 comments
Steve and I were raised as 'cousins' although there was certainly no blood relation. We always respected that even though it was a known fact he had a crush on me when he was younger. He would carry my picture around and say I was his girlfriend and his mother stated, 'That's your cousin.' However, about a year ago I was turning 29 (before 30) and I felt insecure and I'd always been attracted to him but we had 'respect' for how our parents raised us. His mother married my uncle. I'm ashamed to write this but I saw him and we felt something special one night and kissed. We attempted to date and be in a relationship but it was difficult. The family felt uneasy and betrayed. I'm naturally insecure and I was the 'good sweet one' in the family so I was losing that by being with him and on top of that he can't seem to maintain employment. We drifted apart and were grateful that we never had sex and we figured we'd just go back to being cousins again. It worked for awhile. I'm being supported by an ex and he has a new girlfriend (not nearly as pretty as I am) and we try to hang out but lately Steve and I were feeling 'attracted' all over again. I feel like I should stay away. He is great. He holds my heart in his hands. He's kind. That depth is difficult to find. I try to replace him with 'better' guys but lately the last time I was at his house I just wanted to make love to him. I have to know what it is like. I can't stay away. I'm in love with him. It won't go away and I don't want to hurt his current girlfriend who is not a desirable female anyway. (she does drugs and steals)
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