When I was 14yrs.old, my family moved across town to a new neighborhood. I immediately, became overwhelmed with a very bad feeling - though, it would be quite some time before I could actually, put my finger on exactly just what it was. Soon, I met a kid that was just slightly older than me and who lived 'kitty corner' from us on the block. During that summer(approx. 4 months to be exact) we strangely, became very best of friends in such a short time. When that summer ended and it was time for me to enroll into my new high school, it was somewhat, of a breeze with my new friend - who I'll call, 'Tom' - introducing me to practically, everyone that he already knew. Now, Tom could be significantly, intimidating with not only his size but because of the fact that he was unusually and extremely, multi-talented. I say this because that summer, he had repeatedly, displayed his ability to do things such as, ride a unicycle while dribbling a basket ball or how obviously good he was at common type sports - etc. Another thing, I found rather strange is, though he was gifted in such a way and alot of the girls around the neighborhood were obviously, attracted to him, he was overly shy and it seemed that he would never be caught dead with any of them! Anyway, that first school year, I had met this beautiful girl and soon, we had fell into each other's first love. (hers and mine) Over the course of the next 4 years and even after graduation, me, her and Tom had grown to be pretty tight knit with alot of summer time camping trips, water skiing, partying or just hanging out. During this time, the only female activity - involving Tom, was a series of only, 'one night stands'. Well, to shorten this story up, I was 19 at this time and had been working a full time job at night. All 3 of us were still, living at home so, when I had gotten off work early one night, I found it to be extremely unusual to find her mother's car parked in front of Tom's house! Right away, I suspected the worst and entered the side gate to Tom's house which led to his bedroom window. Through a crack in the side of his curtains, my suspicions were confirmed with a carnal image that will forever, be engraved into my memory! To skip alot of drama - I'll just say that, I pounded on the window, challenging them both to bring their asses outside while prepared to handle the whole thing in what I'm sure would have been nothing but bloody violence! I'm sure, due to my outrage, neither one ever did come outside and which only resulted in waking his dad up and me going to jail after breaking the windows out of his sports car! One might think that, what I had seen would pretty much put things into perspective but at the same time - I never really, received any deserved, closure from her because not only did she absolutely refuse to ever talk to me again - she also had filed a restraining order against me! Talk about a very sudden and depressing change in life, huh? My best friend along with the person who I loved so deeply for all of those years - both gone from my life in one second! I guess that wasn't evil enough because I had to watch her park in front of that house (again, 'kitty corner') almost every night, for months! Again, never sharing one word with either of them as to why or how! So, my confession is - though, rather simple in comparison, months after his windows were fixed only from my restitution, I not only secretely, put sugar in his gas tank which completely destroyed his motor but for many months, I outloudly, exclaimed my wishes for him to somehow, die! Believe it or not, My wishes, which later and obviously became impossible to extract - were regretfully, granted when they both were involved in a crash in which Tom was killed but she survived! Every single day since, I have prayed for forgiveness! A word to all: Be extremely careful with what you wish for! Please!