CONFUSION
Posted Mar 2, 2011 by anonymous | 139 views | 0 comments
I feel so neglected and lonely that I cannot function around other people. It's a self-fullfilling prophesy; my cold and dead actions beget cold and dead responses, forming an unending and maddening cycle. Everything else feels so forced, though. I never feel like myself unless I am atleast vaguely unhappy about something, anything. I try to adopt brighter, more engaging modes of being, but they are always just slogans to me, and they are never integrated into who I really am. I don't know what I want, or who I want to be, and I'm becoming increasingly aware of my advancing age, and the fact that I should have this figured out by now, if only just a little bit. I see my friends and peers 'getting' it and moving along with their lives, while I prefer to stay in the limbo of indecision. I have a history of wasted potential, and I prefer to be seen for what I can accomplish vs. What I do accomplish, considering what I actually do accomplish usually misses the mark of how much is expected. The gnawing fear that I won't pan out is quickly becoming a reality
No comments yet. Be first!