child abuse
Posted Nov 27, 2012 by anonymous | 575 views | 5 comments
when i was younger i was abused sexually and physically. when i was in pre school i started experimenting with other same age kids sexually. mostly playing doctor. but it didnt stop there. in kindergarten i continued the behavior with another same age peer. but the next year i did the same thing with someone one year younger. in the 4th grade i initiated sexual play with my older stepbrother who continued to turn the situation around and manipulate/blackmail me and threaten to tell on me for our behavior together. that continued for a few years. around that same age i would look inside younger kids pants out of curiosity. i continued to act out sexual shame and secrecy. I am now an adult and feel a lot of shame and guilt for what happened. I am trying to forgive myself. thank you for reading this.
Commented Jul 18, 2014 by anonymous
hDxjpk I really enjoy the blog.Really looking forward to read more. Keep writing.
Commented Nov 29, 2012 by anonymous
I'm a survivor of child sex abuse myself and cannot even begin to express the complex mess of emotions I continue to have. There are no easy answers here. At such a young age, we're physically programmed. It's like the memory is in the body and it is beyond rationality. I would highly recommend reading: The Survivor's Guide to Sex: How to Have an Empowered Sex Life After Child Sexual Abuse. It will help map out what's involved and give you some pointers on what to do next. I highly recommend taking this path of empowerment. Your sexuality has been tampered with and you have a right to reclaim what is yours. You may find that counseling will help you deal with the guilt of acting out with others at the time, which by the way is extremely common with survivors. You practice what you learn at that age, kids are natural mimics. So I'm not surprised at all and understand the subsequent guilt. All the best on your journey of healing.
Commented Nov 28, 2012 by anonymous
You were also kind at the time of committing this act.
Commented Nov 28, 2012 by anonymous
I don't get it.
Commented Nov 28, 2012 by anonymous
you were a kid yourself. dont feel bad.