Brokeback Mountain
Posted Aug 16, 2011 by anonymous | 540 views | 1 comments
i love my wife, but i don't feel as guilty as i used to feel about having sex with another guy behind her back. we went into our marriage ten years ago knowing that both of us were crazy as shit-house rats with all kinds of issues. i do everything i can to keep her fear issues from swallowing her up. she's scared of everything, and i do everything i can to keep her feeling safe. i let her call me every twenty minutes when i'm away. i let her keep the kids within her sight at all times even though i know it's going to make them weird. (i do feel guilty about that one.) i'm patient with her panic attacks. but i don't think she's been as considerate of my craziness as i am of hers, and it's driving me--well--crazy. one of my issues is cleanliness. i hate filth. i have to live in clean space. (i mean, i'm a closet-case fag for christ's sake.) she stopped caring about that about five or six years ago. she's a slob. i tell her how much it depresses me, but she doesn't care. about five or six years ago, i started going on overnight fishing trips with an old friend. we're not in love, and we do catch a few brook trouts, but we spend a lot of time in the tent too. i don't consider it "an affair" because like i said we're not in love and we don't want to leave our wives. it use to tear me up because i knew i was betraying her trust. but the slobbier she gets the less guilty i feel about it.
Commented Aug 16, 2011 by anonymous
You care less because you've grown to resent her messy ways. It's hard to be considerate of her feelings when she seems so indifferent to yours. You've done what you can for this woman. At some point soon, I call it that you will divorce. You are not being true to yourself and eventually will not be able to hide it anymore.